Monday, April 20, 2009

Victoria & I

So I did what any man in my situation would do, I left. After all, the relationship was beyond a strain, and even though my heart was in it, I couldn't help but feel there was an unfilled space that required to be filled for us to ever have a chance. And although we both agreed this separation was needed,with me still feeling attached, I just knew it was the right thing to do, we had to grow. It was hard and I I had so many questions. Like why not sooner? Why did I even met her? Was it true love? I understood but I didn't want to.

It had been 1 month after our 2 year anniversary. We seemed to be "in love" and I always believed she could be the ONE.

We met in the city, and as soon as I saw her my first instinct said approach her. This was no ordinary task for me, mainly because they're went many women I had approached in my life time, I usually left it up to chance. But today was different, and my confidence said otherwise.
She was shopping alone, how I often did myself, so it made things easier. Beautiful in her own right, possessing the essence of what I thought to be an angel, I had to know her name. So I asked. Victoria. That was her name.

Victoria wasn't like most people, she dreamed big, loved hard and was as down to earth as they come. Still, there were parts of her I had to learn to love, which excited me, because she challenged my mind, expressed emotion, extremely intelligent about life, loved me deeply and was almost everything I wanted in a woman. She was as sure about herself as the sun was to rising every morning. Feisty as ever and always put up a fight. She approached everything with the attitude of perfection. Flawless was her middle name. Hair, skin, body all impeccable. But still there was something missing, and at this point, learning to love her became a struggle.

The day we separated, I found out a lot about myself. I found out I had a lot of uncertainties about my life, I found out that I hadn't completely forgiven people in my past; which is a must to have forward progression. I found out I had a lot of vulnerable times, I found out I had developed a precariousness about myself that wasn't there before. I picked up a lot of bad habits and that was the day I realized it, that day I realized I could be a better person. But more importantly, I realized that I my life was in dire need of a relationship with God. I realized that for all my other skeletons to be cleaned out of my closet, I needed the ONE that knew me inside and out on my side. My next move was tough but obvious. And even though Victoria and I ended our relationship at the time, my Lord and I lit the fire to ours. And it was the best decision I ever made.

I've been a pastor for over 5 years now. Victoria and I have a 3 year old daughter, who is the apple of my eye. And yes, you're correct, Victoria and I are happily married and doing God's work. She is my by side locked and loaded with full support, she is the woman I've always wanted, she is my wife, my best friend, my first lady. I thank God everyday for His plans.I'm thankful because He choose me and also because His plan for my life was way better than mine could have ever been. By making the decision to listen I've been able to, little by little, apprecieve His will and discern about His love. Simply put, His love is far greater than any noun the mind can think of. He taught me how to love my wife, build a truthful Church, create business and jobs, and all at the same time He teaches me how to love and serve Him more and more each day. He cleaned me up and gave me the things I've always dreamed of (wife, child, health, happiness, wealth) and all because I gave my life to Him, and I'd do it all over again, no hesitation. To God be the glory for my life, my wife and my heartbeat.

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