Saturday, July 25, 2009


In preparation for my approaching birthday which is August 7,I have co-written a very detailed description of myself and my kind-The Leo. It describes me and my lifestyle to a T (where that means, you know old people say it, so it sounds right).. But yea, it pretty much speaks for itself. So enjoy..Leave a comment and tell me what you think..

The zodiac sign of Leo has the symbol of 'The Lion' and just like a lion; a Leo believes that he rules everyone else. Don't tell him he doesn't, it will break his big, loving, proud heart. Leos can easily go from being vigorously outgoing to plain lazy. If you want to find a Leo, go to the most dazzling places in the town. You will find him there, surrounded by people and playing his role in the limelight beautifully. He likes to live in style and hates boredom. There are hardly any introvert Leos, only those who pretend to be introverts.

They are in love with their pride and ego and fiercely protect what they believe to be theirs. The lion loves to give advice on how you should manage your life and feels himself to be superior to others. However, his ego is very vulnerable and he will get deeply hurt if you don't respect his wisdom. It is difficult to ignore the lion for too long, he will be the center of attraction sooner or later. The best way to tame him is to flatter him; he will turn into a purring kitten. Praising the intellect will work as much as admiring the appearance will.

He is pretty clever and will never ever bother to waste his energy on something insignificant. Leo holds back nothing, not even his approval and compliments. Infact, he is so generous with compliments that he can make you embarrassed and self-conscious. At the same time, he is equally vocal about the things he does not like. However, one thing you can be sure of - he means what he says. You may or may not like it, but it is his true opinion. Leo plays the perfect host, treating you to the best of everything, right from ambience to the dessert.

He has a forgiving nature and is full of sympathy. Even in his love life, he easily reconciles after a split up. Leos are passionate in every aspect of their life, be it love or career or any other thing. They are rarely without a partner and life without love is a big no-no for them. They practically thrive on romance. A Leo is never the one to be dependent on someone. Rather, he loves to lead and be leaned upon. He may complain every now and then about the responsibilities, but in his heart he loves to have them. He dislikes taking help, especially of a financial nature.

On the other hand, he will gives loan to almost everyone. A Leo may run out of cash easily, since he is anything but cautious with it. However, he will always be the best-dressed person at the party. His behavior always borders on the extreme. A Leo will either be extremely careless and sloppy or meticulously neat and orderly. He is also extremely fixed with his ideas and it is very hard to convince him against his opinions. He likes to do one thing at a time. When he is working, you can be sure, he will forget to have his lunch too.

When he's partying, he will put the dance floor on fire. Leos turn out to be the bravest ones in a group, especially in the face of an emergency. They are very loyal, extremely possessive and highly jealous. The lion fiercely defends what he believes to be his. He is a powerful enemy, but one with morals. Creativity and originality are his fortes. Even though he has an ego, is arrogant and overflows with pride, he is extremely good at heart. Being with a Leo will mean that you always have someone to care for, though you may have to flatter him every now and then.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009



I'm crazzy pumped for my favorite player BLACK MAMBA aka KB24 aka Bean! Another CHAMPIONSHIP! That makes FOUR..for NOW. How crazy is that though? Must be NICE! It was definitely a collective effort though and I must say we are more than worthy this year. The crown fits US well. And YES I said US.. I am a Laker! Have always been a Laker and will continue to be a Laker. Even if we never win another 'SHIP again! (which is NOT likely)...

But anyways shout out to my bros TA and LO (Trevor Ariza and Lamar Odom for the non basketball fans).. Rock yall rings proudly, cause without the 2 of you Kobe might still be at 3. No disrespect Bean, but the League is looking tougher and tougher. But yo TA, you should have Kob' give you the Ferrari or something! Lol..

Shout out to the whole roster! God bless, congrats and lets do it it again next year! Everybody be safe at the parade tomorrow. I won't be able to attend, I'll be too busy trying to get paid like above mentioned. Definitely there in spirit though. Peeeeaaaaccceee!

Where To Now

I woke up in a cold sweat, that was the 1st sign. Thoughts of the time we share always found a way to disturb my sleep. Things were good, I'll even go as far to say it was great. We were the perfect blend, similar personalities, kind hearts and true love birds. We were more than friends, more than lovers, more than our pasts. Together, we were better than the others. I liked to believe we were soul mates, as corny as it sounds. I could tell her anything, and Lord knows my ear would bleed at times from the reoccurrence of her words, but I always listened, even if I had already heard the story 5 or 6 times, which was often. I believed she was unlike all the rest, she was an old soul, mixed with morals and loyalty, mixed in with a small pinch of gangsta... And I loved her. Everything about her. But still through all of this, neither one of us could predict what was next to take place. And for that reason alone, the story ends here because what's next to happen hasn't happened yet.

.........on my Blackberry.


"There's a war going on inside no man is safe from, it don't matter if you 3 feet or eight one.."

I never understand how treacherous it would be to be in a battle without a shield, that is, until that point in time where I actually was found without mine. The battle, the war I speak of is within all of us, and you'd be surprised at how many are fighting without their shield. The fight has to be fought and no man can avoid or dodge it. Often times we're thrown onto the battlefield and we don't even know it, fighting and swinging blindly, getting nowhere, sometimes even for years. And its a wonder why we haven't been destroyed yet. Well, I take that back, its mercy, God's grace and mercy that saves us.

While I'm writing this blog, I am in the middle of a spiritual cleanse aka fasting. Basically, trying to get my armor up. The devil is known for throwing those continual shots at us, all of US, and I want to have the power to fight them with no question. We always here the statement, "life is short", and its true. Life is way too short to be walking around aimlessly, without purpose and unable to fight off attacks from the enemy. You automatically entered the war when you were born, and you have a choice to fight or lay down. I don't know about everybody else, but I choose to fight, and not only fight, but I choose to win. The Lord says in his word that Victory is His, so I trust that being on his team makes me a winner.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Update, Random, Shout Outs, Whatever.

PTL Everybody ("Praise The Lord" for those of you that's just catching Up)..

I got some stuff to talk about.. First things first, it's summer time. Notice there is no exclamation point. AND, usually when someone speaks of summer you hear some kind of excitement in their voice, but not this time around. This summer is about business and forward progression ALL THE WAY THROUGH. God is blessing and opening doors in my life as well as the people around me, and I'm looking forward to doing some great things in the near future.

So, second, a little update on my trip to the Maryland, DC area enjoying a mini vacation/Wedding and Graduation for my bro Nate and his wifey, Angelique! They both graduated from The US Naval Academy in Annapolis, MD. They graduated with honors on Friday, got married on Saturday and flew home, to LA on Sunday. So you can just imagine what kind of weekend we had. The graduation was super official, Obama spoke to the people, as me and my boys (JO, AD, DJ, Gav and BWills) enjoyed some chicken tenders in the bleachers trying to stay awake, due to the effects from the night before. The wedding was even more official, I've never been lost for words but the whole ceremony had me speechless. And yea I'll admit it, a small tear dropped from my eye during the commencement, oh well. I was just happy to see my boy marry his love and to be able to be apart of it was just crazy! As for the bachelor party and all the other night time events you get NO details of what happen... Just apply the cliche they use for Vegas, "What happens in DC.....STAYS in DC...!" But yeaa man, Congrats to my FAM for jumping the broom. I truly love you guys and I'm beyond happy for you. May God continue to bless your relationship, and much happiness and success to the both of you. Long live the Clarks! Lol.

Next.. My bro Tristan aka TMula aka Foreign Curren$y aka T$ is back home from Canada for the summer. And boy, have we been getting IT IN. Its sort of a trio though.. A combination of Me, Mula and MJ. And quiet as kept, we're looking for an appearance from Rome soon too. But more importantly look for big things to come from US.. As a trio and as individuals. That's all I'm going to say about that for now, but my advice would be to keep your eyes open, WIDE open.

Another thing... Me and the fam are finally settled in the not so new house and it's like we've lived here for years, I'm more comfortable than I've been a long time and my family feels the same way. We've just been continuing to prosper and be happy. I want to give GOD all the honor and glory on this because it is truly only because of Him, He is the only reason things are the way they are. Every since we've all strengthened are relationship with Christ and picked up leadership roles in our church. I can definitely say the good Lord is a rewarder and is worthy of continual praise.

Lastly.. Shout Outs! Shout out to everybody whose name appeared in the blog already. So that's double shouts, lol. Shout out to Bishop, my First Lady and my church FAMILY, especially Elder Osegura and Min. Mia, extremely annointed women of God, thank you for aiding me in the maturing of my faith. Shout out to my best friend, my little homie, my right hand just because I feel like it. Shout out Ms. Roschoune just because too, not a lot of people grind like you, so I gotta show love for that. Last on the shout out list, my lil bro Vaughn aka VA. Congratulations on closing up your junior year of high school, continue to achieve beyond the stars and keep God as your light. I love you and nothing or no one can every come between us.

That's all for now.. There should be some cool stuff posted on here within the next week, so continue to check, leave a comment if you like..

I'm ouuuut!
Peace, favor and blessings to everybody..

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Walk Alone

When I stopped listening to other people's opinions and realized I didn't need counterpart for all my endeavors, I got better. Better things started happening for me. And although I was by myself in the world, I wasn't alone.

Sometimes you have to make decisions, and some decisions you make effect the rest of your life. Age becomes irrelevant and productivity and responsibility take over. Tonight I could've been out partying for my brotha's birthday (shout out to him; j5), but I couldn't. I had to make a decision for myself and my future, I had things that needed to get done, thoughts that needed to processed and action that needed to take place. All these things of importance HAD to be done, and they could not wait, not one minute. For if I lost this time, I probably wouldn't have came to certain conclusions, nor would I ha.e the same revelations about my thoughts. So the importance of handling things NOW and not LATER definitely intensifies.

Walk alone for a while and you'll find yourself. And finding yourself is of the utter most importance, its almost at an emergency level. So many of us don't know our true self, going through life imitating others and setting our sights on with others have. Don't be so simple, there's more to life. More than clubs, alcohol, drugs, money, cars and material things. Let's look deeper and take action. The time is now.


At some point you have to collide with destiny. For those that don't know, destiny is what we choose, all the decisions we make in life, added up. The collision that takes place is inevitable, there is no way around it. Every man comes face to face with his destiny, whether it leads to success or not. Although success is every one's ultimate goal, many never reach it, this doesn't mean you've failed at reaching your destiny, you got there, but it just wasn't a successful end. There are many factors along the way that help us decide when, how and where we'll land in our destiny. Some factors being positive and others bearing a more negative circumstance. One must keep their eyes open and be aware of the traps that have been set. Listening to cliche's is essential, its simple at times, learn from other peoples mistakes. Don't fail to realize we weren't the first ones here, understand that there were people before us who made countless mistakes, colliding with destiny negatively. So just know there is nothing new under the sun. Live right, collide into greatness.


Yo yo yo! PTL everybody... Welcome to the 50th post! I know it's been awhile since I gathered thoughts and let the public take a listen. Sorry to those I've kept waiting. But I've been living! Not only that, my thoughts have just been everywhere lately. With so much going on, I found it hard to just settle down and reflect. God has been blessing in such an abundance, and I just haven't had the time to catch up. Things have been great for the most part though. I got to do some traveling, see some different things and be apart of my bros wedding in DC (I'll post a few pics soon). However, life never ceases to amaze me, I always find myself in aww at the things God puts in front of me. Opening doors you would think could never be opened, implementing confidence and boldness in my heart for EVERY situation, even the tough ones. It just feels good to be on this side of the fence, receiving favor from above and helping others to know the truth also. That's the jest of what's been going on lately. So with the month of June beginning, I'm ready to post new, more informative and creative blogs. So thanks again to everybody who supports the blog. And again, apologies for my absence, but believe me it was definitely worth it. I got some gooooood stuff for yall, soo God bless and keep reading!


Monday, May 11, 2009

Wise Thoughts From A Decent Man.

Nothing in the world is permanent, and we're foolish when we ask anything to last, but surely we're still more foolish not to take delight in it while we have it.

If change is of the essences of existence one would have thought it only sensible to make it the premise of our lives.

There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.

If someone decides to lend a helping hand, don't look to see if its green. Just accept it.

God will bless you in this life when you live for the next life.


Sunday, May 10, 2009

I Lost, But WE Win.

One time I lost. Probably one of the biggest losses in my life to date. I can remember the ill feeling that formed itself inside of me. It was painful and excruciating, the kind I wouldn't wish on my worse enemy. At first it didn't make sense nor did I know what was happening, but after awhile of reflection and prayer things became clear to me. I was being broken down so I could be made tougher. And I needed to be tougher so I could endure more. This toughness that was formed wasn't your average male ego toughness though, definitely not the kind of foolish toughness that believes he'll never lose again, but instead, it was the toughness of bouncing back and bettering myself at the end of each loss, which also now I see, makes my losses few and further in between. Still, this loss hurt like no other, but through the pain I always felt like there was a reason or major explanation for it. And that's why we go back to that word toughness. Surely this toughness that was created through the loss and turmoil was needed, it was a much needed change, it was a much need experience with pain.

Through the pain I allowed God to finesse, groom and teach me. Because of obedience, I was rewarded...

Through this new found self-sufficency, devotion and boldness I acquired gifts. Gifts from God. Many were as simple as understanding situations in my past and seeing how God brought me through, other gifts were larger in part, for example; the gift of helping people come to Christ and just multiplying and spreading the word all for the glory of His kingdom. The gift of wisdom is a magnificent thing, especially at a young age. Wisdom meaning, you understand you don't know everything about this life, or about other peoples lives and their situations, and you even acknowledge the fact that you haven't discovered everything about yourself. You realize there's always room to grow, keeping yourself prepared and remembering devotion equals results.

Having discernment in this world is also a precious gift, just to be able to look through certain situations and avoiding potholes is a blessing, especially because in your past you were accustomed to fall in so many. So avoiding them alongside Christ makes things so much better. There are many gifts, many favors, many blessings God wants to bestow upon us, we just have to be faithful and have continual praise, despite all pain. That is the key way to enter into the door of God's heart, love and abundance in ALL things.

So even in defeat, we win. There's always a light at the end of the tunnel, even if your tunnel is longer than someone elses, you just have to keep moving to get to it, push forward, trample fear, demolish pain, pray often, don't stop!

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Supposed TO...

Supposed to be a millionaire two summers ago, well according to MY time, which is irrelevant. But the truth is, I hadn't added the major component to my life, my Lord and His will. The Lord's plan for our life is ALL that matters. To not be on His side is suicide and I wasn't on His side or time. We've all heard the term, "God works in mysterious ways". I think that's a huge understatement.

Supposed to be in the NBA by now, well according to MY time, which is irrelevant. You see, the doctors said I'd be 6'4, and I believed them. My coaches said if I changed schools I'd get more recognition for my game. The newspapers said I was one of the best in my class. All of these voices, all of these opinions.. Irrelevant! The only voice, the only plan that has any validity to me comes from the One I put all my trust in NOW.

Supposed to marry my ex by now, well according to MY time, which is irrelevant. I wasn't faithful, I wasn't truthful and I at times I couldn't be trusted. All characteristics needed to sustain a successful love relationship. All things God revealed to me later on in my life. These things I have now, thanks to God and his mercy. I could have been that way forever, but He had something else in store for me.

All of these things we say, we were supposed to be, supposed to do, supposed to have mean NOTHING. You must have the right coach leading you in the right direction. We will always go through rough times and everything will never be perfect. But what is important is, GROWTH. We must be obedient and trust the outline for life God has for us. We're so quick to say everything happens for a reason, and in most cases it does. But we also have to remember we've been given the gift of free will, and some of the decisions we make can detour us off of the road we're predestined for.

Trust God through it all, and you will have it all, all that matters at least.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Side BARS:

PTL Everyboody, Wassup MOM DUKES! (Special shout out to her FOR NO REASON.)

My CHURCH Bowling Night is tonight and I'm pumped. World Won for Christ, definitely on the move. And while we're on the subject of church, I'm looking for aspiring gospel artists (singers, writers and a rapper), for a Young Adult event I'm organizing this summer. Email me at if you or someone you know may be interested.

All FACEBOOK heads! I will be deleting my .book at the end of the month. I have many reasons for this, but simply's just something that needs to be done.

WISE WORDS FROM A DECENT MAN: "Wait your turn. Because its coming"-MA

Summer is coming fast which means '09 is pretty much over. I've been known to have some pretty crazy summers, but a lot of the time it was wild and frivolous fun. I wonder what this summer will bring now that I've made some changes. I'm sure it'll be very eventful, and many challenges will arise, but I'm prepared. Also, big plans have been made, but I believe and understand God's plan is the ONLY one that counts, so if it's His will, things will come to fruition. DIOS QUIERE! Oh yea, I'm brushing up on my Spanish, it's a little rusty. Shout out to my little bro, who's in AP Spanish III by the way. But that's enough rambling.. I'm done for now.

These are your ANNOUNCEMENTS!

Everybody have a blessed and safe weekend.


Thursday, April 23, 2009

Growth? Maybe Just A Little..

I always talk about forward progression, its probably one of my favorite terms to use to date. I tend to think about it a lot. Often I'll find myself in prayer, but really having a conversation with the Lord, asking him to answer some of the questions I had. Often times there were simple answers like: The need for certain things in my past to be left by the waste side; a process I believe still isn't finished. However, when a decision like this is made, a lot of things that used to be normal to you lose form, you don't see situation the same as you did before, things you used to laugh at are no longer funny, thoughts you used to think are no longer acceptable, words you used speak have become forbidden. Not only habits and consistencies have to be left alone but many people will be cut out too, close friends included, and some times even family. There's is some uneasiness that comes with it though, especially with the ones you've been close with for so long, but a wise man knows better things lie ahead. Not to mention, it is written, there comes a time for everything, and everything has a place under the timing of God (Eccles. 3).

I've never been good with separation between people. I never dealt with it well. It didn't matter if it was a relationship of mine, or when my parents had their time apart, or even when friends of mine would choose to no longer be friends. I just didn't like it, and it always made me feel a certain way and I never knew why. But this was all before I understood that bible verse. Its funny looking back now, remembering all the excess baggage I would carry with me, all the company I kept, all the decisions I've made, especially the bad ones (no pun intended). Looking back and seeing myself as I was doesn't hurt though, and I rarely beat myself up about it, because it is what it is, my PAST. I've grown and did some fine tuning in my life. I'm at the point where I can look back, laugh and SEE the growth and the lesson learned. It doesn't hurt that I have faith in the fact that God had HIS reasons for most of the stuff either. (I say most, because there were definitely times I just refused to listen, SMH. Man, if it wasn't for HIS mercy) I guess that's the part that makes me laugh, just thinking about His vastness/greatness makes me reveal a smile.

I am no where near done growing physically, naturally or spiritually though, and that's simply because God isn't finished with me, as long as I move in His direction. I'm sure 3 or 4 years from now I'll be able to look back on 2009 and say, "I could've done some things differently". And I'm fine with that. This is my life, I'm told you only get ONE, so you should believe I'm going to learn as much as possible, love all, forgive as I would want to be forgiven, be a contributor beyond measure, and an example of kindness. My goal is to just have a gentle spirit, period. These are important qualities, and I believe they shouldn't be taken lightly. I know I'm blessed so its the very least I can do. Life is good, God has been merciful, yet giving continually and I feel like growth and knowledge are flowing my way. So I'm gonna let it all soak in, say my prayers and dream....BIG!

Shout out to everybody, God is Great! Lights out!

.....on my BLACKBERRY.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

To THE People!

PTL! Wassup everybody, how's it going? Hope all is well, hope everyone and their families are blessed.

I don't have a story for you guys this time around. Just want to share some of my thoughts and show some appreciation. First, I'm gonna talk about this whole blogging thing and what its done for me. A lot of people say stuff about people with blogs, I've been called weird, a loser, weak, etc. But I really could care less because I know what the blessing God have promised me and writing is one of them. I never plan on making money from this or even expanding further than this page, I honestly just do it for fun. I'm glad people support it, I'm thankful for the comments, I appreciate alllll the love. But once again, honestly, I just do it for fun and the love of writing.

The second thing I want to address is, about my actual posts. I just want to answer some questions that have been asked frequently, like : Do I really write this stuff? Who am I talking about? Blah, Blah, Blah!? Ummm.. Ok. So.. I write everything that I post, no plagiarism here. If I do take a quote or something from some where or some one, I'll most likely use quotation marks to distinguish it frommy actual words. To answer the other question.. Some of the posts are definitely about people in my life, certain situations, and specific times in my life. Sometimes it'll be an exact feeling that I'm dealing with that particular day and I'll just pull the blackberry and start going. My inspiration comes from everything and a lot of people around me. But to me, that's just writing period. The writers/authors I like to read talk about real life stuff, express real feelings and that's what I like to do also.

The 3rd thing I wanted to talk about is.. these playoffs! So DOPE, Ooohh weee! It's only night 4 of the 40 games in 40 nights. My Lakers are 2-0 heading into Utah on Friday, moving closer and closer to the sweep. Everybody is playing really well, TA and Gasol have been outstanding. Kobe is doing his usaul amazing-ness. Everybody in the West is either 1-0 or 1-1 right now, no one is 2-0. The Houston Rockets are looking impressive even though they lost tonight. The only team I'm worried about is the beast in the east, Cleavland, but we wont have to see them until the Championship (if they make it). They're really looking good though, LeBronias is a monster! He just dunks and lays everything. Plus his supporting cast is playing just as well up to this point. So it should be very interesting. So all I can do is keep watching!

Lastly, but certainly not least, I want to talk about my God, my Lord, my ROCK and what HE's done for my family and I. He has been sooo GOOD. For about 6 months my parents have been looking to buy a house. Now most people wouldn't think twice about buying a home, but buying one at this time is definitely not happening often. The market is terrible and the so called recession has everybody shook! But my family and I know that with God, any and everything is attainable. After searching and having our heart set on a few homes early on in the process, God finally gave us the OK this past week. We got the best house of all. My mom is happy, brother and pops are satisfied, and I'm just grateful, thankful for the Lord's blessing. I know there are more to come, so I'm going to continue to stay in line, serve him, and practice obedience. And for those of you that think its fake or unreal over here, just try God. We've tried everything else, but the only one who can save, bless and multiply is God. And no one is going to be perfect, but He's knows everything, our hearts included, so as long as that is in the right place, we'll be just fine!

Alright I'm OUT.. I know this was a lot of random stuff, but thanks for reading. Hope yall enjoy it. Peace!

Monday, April 20, 2009

Victoria & I

So I did what any man in my situation would do, I left. After all, the relationship was beyond a strain, and even though my heart was in it, I couldn't help but feel there was an unfilled space that required to be filled for us to ever have a chance. And although we both agreed this separation was needed,with me still feeling attached, I just knew it was the right thing to do, we had to grow. It was hard and I I had so many questions. Like why not sooner? Why did I even met her? Was it true love? I understood but I didn't want to.

It had been 1 month after our 2 year anniversary. We seemed to be "in love" and I always believed she could be the ONE.

We met in the city, and as soon as I saw her my first instinct said approach her. This was no ordinary task for me, mainly because they're went many women I had approached in my life time, I usually left it up to chance. But today was different, and my confidence said otherwise.
She was shopping alone, how I often did myself, so it made things easier. Beautiful in her own right, possessing the essence of what I thought to be an angel, I had to know her name. So I asked. Victoria. That was her name.

Victoria wasn't like most people, she dreamed big, loved hard and was as down to earth as they come. Still, there were parts of her I had to learn to love, which excited me, because she challenged my mind, expressed emotion, extremely intelligent about life, loved me deeply and was almost everything I wanted in a woman. She was as sure about herself as the sun was to rising every morning. Feisty as ever and always put up a fight. She approached everything with the attitude of perfection. Flawless was her middle name. Hair, skin, body all impeccable. But still there was something missing, and at this point, learning to love her became a struggle.

The day we separated, I found out a lot about myself. I found out I had a lot of uncertainties about my life, I found out that I hadn't completely forgiven people in my past; which is a must to have forward progression. I found out I had a lot of vulnerable times, I found out I had developed a precariousness about myself that wasn't there before. I picked up a lot of bad habits and that was the day I realized it, that day I realized I could be a better person. But more importantly, I realized that I my life was in dire need of a relationship with God. I realized that for all my other skeletons to be cleaned out of my closet, I needed the ONE that knew me inside and out on my side. My next move was tough but obvious. And even though Victoria and I ended our relationship at the time, my Lord and I lit the fire to ours. And it was the best decision I ever made.

I've been a pastor for over 5 years now. Victoria and I have a 3 year old daughter, who is the apple of my eye. And yes, you're correct, Victoria and I are happily married and doing God's work. She is my by side locked and loaded with full support, she is the woman I've always wanted, she is my wife, my best friend, my first lady. I thank God everyday for His plans.I'm thankful because He choose me and also because His plan for my life was way better than mine could have ever been. By making the decision to listen I've been able to, little by little, apprecieve His will and discern about His love. Simply put, His love is far greater than any noun the mind can think of. He taught me how to love my wife, build a truthful Church, create business and jobs, and all at the same time He teaches me how to love and serve Him more and more each day. He cleaned me up and gave me the things I've always dreamed of (wife, child, health, happiness, wealth) and all because I gave my life to Him, and I'd do it all over again, no hesitation. To God be the glory for my life, my wife and my heartbeat.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

God In ME = Muy Fuego!

PTL! (Praise The Lord)

Wassup everybody.. I know some of yall may have heard this, but for you others, I hope it blesses you tremendously. Mary Mary is and HAS been fire for a very long time. I've met them once and they are definite saints of God and they truly love the Lord. I support the movement, I'm apart of the movement, and this song is killer. So with that saidd ENJOY, and be blessed!!!

Remember! God is GREAT, and the fight is on!

P.S. Here are the lyrics for the people who are interested in them ;-).

I just wanna tell the truth mayne [4x]
[Verse 1:]Your so fly your so high
Everbody around you trying to figure out why
Your so cool you win all the time
Everywhere you go man you get alot of shine
Boy like a magnet better yet I have it
Everything you wear people say they got have it
From the sweat suit to the white tee to the gucci
You can probably say people wanna get like me

[Hook:]But what they don't know is when you go home
and get behind closed doors man you hit the floor
and what they can't see is your on your knees
So the next time you get it just tell em

[Chorus:]It's the God in me [5x]
you think I'm so fresh you think I'm so clean
You think I'm so sweet
It's the God in me
[Kiki:]God is in, in me you see

[Verse 2:]You see her style you think she nice
you look at her whip you say the whip tight
You look at her crib you thinkin she paid
you look at her life you think she's got it made
but everything she got the girl's been given
She calls it a blessing but you call it living
When it comes to money she can be a hero
She writes them cheacks with a whole lot of zeros

[Hook:]But whacha don't know is when she get home
and get behind closed doors man she hit the floor
and whacha can't see is she on her knees
And if you ask her she'll tell ya

[Chorus:]It's the God in me [5x]
you think I'm so fresh you think I'm so clean
You think I'm so sweet It's the God in me
[Kiki:]God is in, in me you see
[Kiki:]What is it you think you see
when you see me, you see me
You don't know how much I pray
don't know how much I gave
don't know how much I changed
I'm just tryna explain

[Chorus:]It's the God in me [5x]
you think I'm so fresh you think I'm so clean
You think I'm so sweet It's the God in me
[Kiki:]God is in, in me you see

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Vicious Cycle

I met her that night I went out with guys. It started off unlike most situations of this nature, pure innocence. I was sitting at the bar watching the game, trying to see what my good friend did on his debut night on the court of his first NBA game. The fellas were nearby playing pool and mingling with the women that were around. I was uninterested because I had a girl at home, we were serious, I cared for her, plus the game was on! But after about 15 minutes of that, my attention shifted and a sudden weakness passed through my body. A bad, bronze skin, beautiful faced woman sat next to me, ordered a drink, and started commenting on the game. I ignored the first few statements, trying not to make eye contact or conversation, but I was surely unable to avoid her essence or how beautiful she was. I tried to focus my attention back toward the game and the game only, and then she said something. I felt compelled to counter, because of what was said, she had called my boy weak! So I replied very salty, "You crazy!, That's my boy, he's real" She laughed and broke his game down to a T, surprisingly very accurate too, not missing a beat. I was amazed at a woman having that insight and capacity of the game, not saying it wasn't possible but it just caught me off guard, and I was drawn in. The night carried on and we convo'd about numerous things: hoop, life and our past, until it was time to leave. And then the first akward moment showed its face. She asked to keep in contact, said she had a great time, enoyed my company and would like to do it again. In my head I'm like "Ahhhh". Because this woman is gorgeous, smart and very appealing. I too, enjoyed the random time spent with the woman but I had a girl at home! I knew it was wrong, but I give her the number anyway... DANG! That was my second mistake though, my first was not telling her I had a girl at home from the very beginning. But we exchanged numbers regardless, and my naive self thought she'd never call. Man, was I wrong. A week later when my girl was out of town, the blackberry rings, its her and she wants to see me. So at this point I have many decisions to make and even more thoughts forming in my thick skull. I make excuses to see her, telling myself, "Its ok, she's cool" and "I can have female friends, right?". So yea, I went. We met at the same place, shot some pool, had some drinks and laughed the whole night, not realizing we had so much in common. By this time I knew I had messed up and I was in too deep. Walking her to the car to say goodnight, still smiling from the night we just enjoyed, we kissed. Definitely one of the most intense, passionate and real kisses I've ever had, I was taken back for moment. Thinking of my girl, but it was too late. The wrong had already been done, I cheated. After the kiss I had mixed feelings, she was the complete opposite. Her face was glowing and I could see her heart on her sleeve. I knew I had to leave. After returning home, I sat and thought of what to do next. My girl would be home in 3 days and I couldn't decide between being a man, own up to my unfaithfulness, risking losing her, or holding on to the secret forever. I was torn. When she arrived she was so happy to see me, this made me feel worse, my heart just sank, but I knew what I had to do. So I told her, breaking her heart and causing the end of our relationship of 3 years. I was sick for weeks, mad at myself for allowing this to happen. But at the same time I was perplexed at the fact the girl I cheated with hadn't called since that night. I found that to be mysterious. So I picked up my phone and called her, and what she told me was even more sickening. She told me she hadn't called because she was disappointed in herself because she too was in a relationship with guy she loved and cared for. She told him what she had done and he was furious, but he didn't end their relationship, he choose to work through it and forgive her if she choose to never see me again. It seems he was a believer in second chances. I barely responded to the story she shared, not knowing what to say, she apologized and we hung up. Now, I'm feeling helpless, stupid, abandoned and confused all at the same time. I sat for awhile thinking about the vicious cycle I was just involved in and how I thought it could never happen to me, my thoughts just surfaced. My next move would be critical... It was only two things left for me to do, it was simple, I had to learn from this situation and move on. And that's exactly what I did.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

The Imperfect Man

I am no where near perfect. I've told my fair share of lies. Broken a heart. Stolen. Been prideful. Judged people. Cheated on a girl I loved. Broke many promises. Declined success. Walked away from good situations. Lost friends. I can't remember the last time I give something 100%. Nor can I remember the last time I saw something through to the end. I can be extremely selfish. I choose not to care about things at the wrong time. I've been called unreliable. I'm known for not answering my phone. I go on occasional haitus', not informing anyone. Sometimes I throw shots at my ex girlfriend and her bum ass boyfriend. See! Smh. I can be a terrible person.


Despite all my imperfections there are those who still choose to love me, God being at the top of that list and my family and friends following Him. I am truly blessed and grateful beyond measure. Also, for the record, I'm not just good at stating my imperfections. I do work to better myself daily. I trust God has a light at the end of my tunnel, and while I'm traveling through that tunnel I believe all of the above mentioned imperfections will be released off of me, I will be become a better person, I will reach success, never quite reaching PERFECTION but running after it with every bit of energy in my body. And although it'll be a fight, its the process that feels the best. This is what I am, and what I believe. Not quite what YOU thought HUH!?

Resurrection of the blog!

Happy Easter Everybody!

I know, I know.. I've been a complete mystery lately! My apologies to the people that actually enjoy reading my posts, sorry its been a while. A lot has been going on in my life this past month. I've been making transitions and I've had some really rough weeks. And I'll be honest, I just haven't felt like writing, until tonight! Some of the problems were situations involving myself, finding inspiration, needing time to strengthen my spirituality and just coping with uneasiness in my transition but I realized along time ago, you just gotta thug it out sometimes; actually you gotta thug it out a lot of the time, matter of fact that should be my new motto, Thug or Die! Lol, ok I'm just being silly cause its late. But seriously, you just have to run towards pain, battle fear and say wassup to hard times, you can't run away from them though. And that's exactly what I'm doing now, because things definitely aren't great, but I still smile knowing my strength come from the Lord above. So with that said, I'm baaaaacccccckkkkkkkkk! Lol

Monday, March 23, 2009

You can fill the BLANK in...

My homie just emailed me this.. They're usually lame but I'm bored so Ima go in..

1. My ex... is FUNNY! reality tv funny lol (why did that have to be first haha)

2. Maybe I should... make a pb&j, I love those.

3. I love ... my CHURCH. It's definitely the dopest/realest church in alll thee land lol.

4. People would say that I am... dope, fun, inteligent. I also know others probably would have more negative things to say.

5. I don't understand... this world. I know thats a broad statement, but I dont. A lot of the things that happen in and around my world are verrryyy mystery to me.

6. When I wake up in the morning... I can't see anything for about 3 minutes, I think I need glasses lol.

7. I lost... the dopest FUBU jacket ever when I was in 5th grade..I was SICK for weeks!

8. Life is full of... mysteries and questions. Walk your path to figure them out.

9. My past... is my past. Don't judge me man!

10. I get annoyed when... I introduce someone to something new, and then later on they try to tell me about it, like I wasn't the one who told them about it! What is that about??? I don't even want credit, but just be REAL.

11. Parties are... cool, I guess.

12. I wish... everyone in the world could be in a relationship with the person that was put here for them without going through a million other people. Extreme? Yea, but oh well its my wish!

13. Dogs... are real! I miss my late pup PUMA, RIP homie! Ima get another one when I get my own spot this summer.

14. Cats... are very weak and sneaky. I'm cool!

15. Tomorrow... Let's not discuss tomorrow. I still have a lot more to do today. Plus tomorrow is not promised.

16. I have low tolerance... for people with ulterior motives. I usually can spot this person early on, but if not, once I find out, its a wrap. I think thats extremely selfish and I'm cool on that too.

17. If I had a million dollars.. I'd give 10% to God. Then I'd spread atleast 300k between my family and CLOSE friends (some people would be sick). The rest would be mine, and I would flip it over and over between business ventures and other ideas I have.

18. I'm totally terrified of... not reaching the promises that have been made for my life.

19. My spouse... will be my bestfriend, my heart, my soulmate. Can't wait until you stop playing and come find me (maybe its the other way around lol).. But anyways, We're gonna wreckshop together, on some Martin and Corretta, Will and Jada, Magic and Cookie type stuff lmao.

20. My life... is full of blessings, ups and downs. But I love it. I'm living a movie!

SO yeaa I actually enjoyed this.. Lol

Thursday, March 19, 2009

ESPN Commercials.. Funny!

Its only right that thee dopest channel on the planet, has thee dopest commercials right? RIGHT. ESPN never disappoints when it comes to their classic commercials. Whenever I'm up late and I see any one of their commercials I get hyped. Its just instant gratification lol. But yea enough rambling.... ENJOY

Tuesday, March 17, 2009


Lately channels 60-65 have been getting a lot of action on my cable box (Time Warner). This is probably my 2nd favorite time of the year, after Jesus' birthday. The NCAA Tournament aka MARCH MADNESS is here! Ahhhhh yesss I love it. I'm ready to see the upsets, cinderella stories, and everything else the game brings. Just listening to the ESPN analyst make predictions and give info on the games to come this week has been satisfying enough, but I must admit, I'm ready to see games. I already did my bracket and I'm pretty sure the teams I have in the Final Four will be there, BUT you never know! And that's the beauty of it.

God bless and shout outs to ALL my bros who made the tournament this year. Marcus Johnson, USC. Mark Hill, Cal State Northridge. Dash Harris, Texas A&M. Patrick Christopher, Cal. Justin Thomas, Syracuse. Isiah Thomas, Washington. Workout fellas!

My Beginning

I was at the beginning, freshly starting on my way. The setting was dark, and I'll admit I was slightly frightened of what lay ahead. All I could see was the road that precedeth me, never be able to see the end, just pavement upon pavement stretching as far as my eyes could see. I paused before I began, taking in the largest breath possible, knowing this wouldn't be easy, but believing that I'd reach my destination; that which was my destination in this life. So I started on my way. As I'm walking and observing my course, learning much along the way, stopping often for many different reasons. There were people whose destination road collided with mine for a time, most seperating when the roads got bumpy, but secretly I was infamous for taking a detour or two, seperating myself. Situation after situation, instance after instance, I just walked. I don't remember everything though, mostly on purpose, memories seem to fade and honestly there are things I just rather not remember. Despite some ill feelings of the past, it was along this road where I discovered me. I located my self worth, along with my dignity and my passions. A few instances did stand out though. There was one time in particular, it was in the middle of the beginning and where I am now. All understanding was lost and I felt like my identity was void. I stepped off the road for a moment into a room that was surrounded by a circle of mirrors, standing from the ground up. Each mirror reflecting my reflection, each reflection speaking, all reflections saying something different. As you might be able to understand, seeing multiple reflections of yourself and each one having an opinion and stating it ALL at the same time, in the same place, can be very shocking, not to mention extremely difficult. So I did what I felt was needed, I welcomed "bad luck", breaking the mirrors and shattering fear, one by one. It was my time to only hear one voice......

To be continued....

Monday, March 9, 2009


"Show me the path where I should walk, O Lord; point out the right road for me to follow. Lead me by your truth and teach me, for you are the God who saves me. All day long I put my hope in you."—Psalm 25:4-5

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Time to Say GOODBYE .

You were so bad, literally. My current thought of you, is the day you came into my life, such perfect timing, well at least that's how it seemed. I was in the process of abandoning thoughts of my past and you assisted me. You took away most thoughts of my ex, comforting me and taking me places I'd never been, some good, some bad. Early on, it was a lot of happiness, complete bondage and a unique freshness that kept us energized. We toured nearly the whole west coast together. City after city, state after state. After that time we spent in PO, I just knew you were the one for me. The only girl I didn't mind sharing either. You were cool with everybody, drawing us all in, inking memories, constant laughter and just making us feel loved. Plus, sharing you really never had an effect, because you always made me happy. However after more time spent my mind begin to get so overwhelmed and vanquished by the thoughts you'd lead me to think. I would often question your judgment and ridicule myself for even listening. The more this happened, the more I started to realize the point of your existence, how you were no longer good for me, and how you had deceived and tricked me. Immediate action had to take place, I needed to be free from you. So I did, but not for long. I remember our 1st break up, I boarded that plane, leaving a lot of the things we shared behind, neither 1 of us cried. I felt like you knew you'd be back in my life. You knew me so well, sure enough you got on a plane of your own, and three weeks later you arrived to reconcile. And even though my three weeks without you were great, I took you back anyway. And when I did, we loved hard, the whole summer, and although we had our fair share of break ups and misunderstandings during that time, you seemed to be here permanently. Which never settled with me. I knew you weren't for me, and I still can't say why I never just told you how I felt and moved on sooner. Maybe because you weren't a good listener, probably because I wasn't man enough, or it could've been I was just weak for you. Whatever it was, it carries little relevance now. I've moved on. No longer trapped by your webb's of deceit, no longer lost in my own thoughts, no longer trampled with doubt. I'm free. My destination is clear now. No more communication, no more mutual friends, no more of you bringing me up, just so I can come down even harder. You would probably be upset to know there's someone new in my life too, someone whose love is deep and whose beauty is beyond measure, someone whose grace is everlasting and holds eternal salvation in the palm of their hands. You probably know who it is by now, and I'm sure your horns have started to peak. And that's fine, be mad. Just know that this is the last time we'll talk, I've made promises and give my loyal commitment to someone better. It's time to say what I've put off for some time now, WE'RE DONE. And it's simple, the time has come, to say, GOODBYE.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

DOPEnessss !

My homie showed me this a couple days ago. Its pure dopeness.. Ryan Leslie is real, and I'll admit I wasn't up on him at first, but I must say he is more than very talented..


Wednesday, March 4, 2009


So I took the anger and frustration I had to the court. And I believe everybody in the arena knew I was playing with a chip on my shoulder, I even heard some people say, "He's playing like a man possessed!". Funny thing is, they were partially right, I was possessed. Not with a demon or an evil spirit, but simply, with an anger from within. I was so mad at her, the situation and mostly myself that I just had to find a familiar place to release the feelings that continually grew in my heart. But as it turned out, as soon the clock read 0:00, and my 57 points went down in the record books, this aggravating, irritation of anger still resided in my heart. Unfortunately I couldn't escape the frustration I held, and this hurt I felt didn't want to leave with the fans that were in the stands. I got the post game interview, signed autographs and even kissed babies, wearing a mask of happiness, but none of it was satisfying enough. I still had that vision playing in my head, over and over again. Still had that pain. When I got home, I saw my accomplishments on ESPN's Sportscenter, the analysis praising my scoring ability, defense, and impeccable free throws. But I could hardly focus on anything they were saying, it was all a blur and a bunch of murmuring. Only thing I could hear is my heart, pounding, crying. Something I don't do much, but tonight is just... Different, unquestionably different. I'm alone, no one to share dinner with, no one to feed to dessert to. I check my phone, only to see messages from my closest, mom, dad and bros. Damn, I wish she would call. Actually I don't, I tell myself I'm better without her. The long shower I took before bed reminds me of her, so I take the body wash she left to the nose and just lay back against the wall, the coldest shower I've ever taken. As I get ready for bed, I say my prayers, thanking God for my accomplishments, asking for forgiveness, for favor, and for her protection. I hit the lights and close my eyes. Ten minutes later, the phone rings. I grab the blackberry, its her. As soon as I say "Hello", I WAKE UP. Its now 6:30 am, and time to start my REAL day. And even though it was only a dream, I felt closer to it then I ever have, so as I walked out the house I had no choice but to value my smile. Dreams are funny though right? But I guess I just wasn't supposed to answer that phone! Lol.

........On my BlackBerr¥.

Monday, March 2, 2009

What About Our Soul?

Reach the highest status, acquire the most riches, that's what we're told, nice cars, dreams and jewels are what we're sold, but what about our soul?, wealth, homes, sex, all things we loathe, but once again, what about our soul?, its so easy to turn to drugs and believe there's no other way to go, grief, stuck in a reality filled with sorrow, makes me think, what about our soul?, where does our soul go?, what is the truth and how do we know? We invest so much time in love, trying to place ourselves in someone's scope, searching for a love we've yet to know, so again I ask, what about our soul?, we're sent to wonder from place to place on a rigid road, growing from young to old, setting and reaching goals, but still, what about our soul?, maybe, someday we will know, I know, I'd like to know, about my soul and where it's going to go, until then I'll just have faith, anxious to see the streets paved of gold, but I will always wonder, what about my soul?

..........On my BlackBerry¥

Thursday, February 26, 2009

A Day in the LIFE

Today was a cooool day and unlike all my other busy days of working out, homework, training, attending my brother's high school games, reading or writing my life away it was a change of pace. The day started off good, with a morning workout, and then breakfast at Coffee Co. with Mom Dukes. Then I went on to to do some homework for 1 of my online classes. After that I was blessed with lunch from one of my favorite places to eat, Japanese takeout, Sachi Terriyaki house (Shout out to 5). My best friend, Tatiana brought the meal to the crib after she got out of school around 1. As I'm eating, I get a call from my other really good friend, miss Caryn Mia, and she says she just got out of school and she's coming through too, which is real cool, especially since I haven't seen her in a lil bit. So, long story short we're chillin, just sitting at the house for about 30 minutes before I say "Yall wanna do something?".. And ofcourse because they're women they say "Yea" but that "Yea" is followed by a million and one questions. Smh. (Lol, all the homies with female friends know what I'm talking about). Why do yall do that?? Lol..

Anyways, back to the day..

So after avoiding most of the questions, I just tell them the destination is 1 of my "secret places" I go to just think, chill, write, etc. So I think they might have be a little intrigued by that lol, especially Tati because she ALWAYS wants to know where these "secret places" I go are. She probably was starting to believe I was making the "secret places" up. But as it turns out, I wasn't. About 5 minutes later we ended up at my "secret place" a park up in the hills of sunny Southern California, not much of a secret place though right? Lol. I only call it a "secret place" because NO ONE knows I go there my solo days to just chill, feed the ducks, organize my thoughts and pray a couple times a week.

Although this was a place I used to come alone, it was mad cool being there with close friends. And although we didn't do a whole lot it was still a lot of fun, really relaxing and extremely peacful. Plus it was free! Lol. But feeding the ducks, talking about LIFE, and playing on the swings like we were 5 years old again was priceless. The park outing ended with me only spending ONE dollar too! The old school ice cream truck was there lol. It kind of made me think about that McDonalds commercial, where dude asks what can he get for a buck. But it was well worth it, the ice cream sandwhich was incredible. Lol.

The time spent was great period. When we were walking to the car I just had the biggest smile on my face and had a genuine feeling inside, CORNY right? Lol, I don't care though, I was happy. Something a lot of people don't have right now, especially with all that's going on. So I thank God for good friends, secret places, Cali sun and random days!

Caryn just so happened to have her camera with her, so you know pics got taken.. And here are a few of them..

Shout outs go to the people that helped bring this blog to life, TC and Lightskinned! I rock with yall anyday. Tati, you already know the deal. Caryn you do too.. Let's just keep living RIGHT, and see where this life takes us. In the mean time just know how thankful I am for you.

Gooonne [.]

Wednesday, February 25, 2009


I pray all this work, dedication and ambition will pay off one day. I can't be broke forever, RIGHT???

That's all... Have a BLESSED day everybody.

Shout out to my bank robbing partner/ youtube counterpart! LMAO!

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Fresh AIR !

Yooo with so much pollution in the music industry, there's a dire need for fresh air and brillance.. And I definitely believe this young lady could be just that.. I met her through my good friend Cris and I'm thankful to have known such inspiring people.. Shout out to both of them!

Introducing to some... Miss Leah Labelle

SIGN her NOW (if it's not already happening)! And I'm NOT just saying that because she was one of the 1st girls I crushed on in a veryy longgg time.. Lol, true story.. She has a lot more on youtube and her blog though.. I'm only posting a couple, go to her page and support her movement..

These are just MY favorites.. ENJOY

Saturday, February 21, 2009


Life man. I love life. Not more than I love the Lord though. But the experience of life is good. Thank God. Some people might not understand that. I have a lot of questions, like a wholeee lot. My mom is the apple of my eye, and I have to make her proud. That's the only way I'll be able to re-pay her. Hmmm, oook so that's love. Real love. Man, what is love? Yea, I had the relationship experience, first love, highschool sweetheart relationship, learned some things and grew, but that was tough. No offense to her, she was great... At times. But that stress and difficulty we went through at a young age was...idk... just tough! Dang I went on too long about that. Lol. Is there a such thing as a perfect relationship? Probably not in the natural. They found like 2 more planets since Pluto, the last of the first 9. But they still haven't updated the school books, smh. That Successful track by Drake makes me think... about a lot of stuff (currently playing). FACT: I recently released AIM from my blackberry, took it out the main page apps and replaced it with the NOTES. If you're blessed to have 1 true and good friend, what is said to the man who has a few? Man I can't wait to play basketball next year!!!!!!! That's the most exclamtions I've ever used. I think that's corny, smh. History channel is real. Today was great, tomorrow should be better. Did I mention life is good. I mean there's always bumps in the road but we always get to go at it again. :-)

I got shout outs to everbody I talked to today, shout out out to people that take the time to read this crap. Thanks to those who don't. Shout out to my lil bro, I love you mucho dude. Mom dukes, love you x 1,000,000. Pops wassup! CiRC!E waddup!

Oh yeaa before I forget, birthday shout outs to my friend Ariel. Enjoy your weekend. And shout outs to my other friend Cristina Martinez (just because).. Cris what up!

Aight that's it..

.....on my BlackBerr¥

Wednesday, February 18, 2009


This life is amazing to me.

I continue to dig within and find treasure upon treasure.

Unveil thought after thought.

I often wonder how this could be.

I've been told before, "The mind is a terrible thing to waste". So why do so many people waste it? 


Are they afraid of what they may be able to accomplish?

So many people use fear as a shield.

Fear is not a shield. Fear is a barricade that must be trampled through with full force.

Once fear is surpassed, the road traveled within gets much easier.

Confidence is gained, wisdom is exhibited, courage defined, and territories enlarged.

Virtues and treasures are unlocked.

What will you do to reach your treasure which is within?

Fear no more. 

Saturday, February 14, 2009


They finally got me! "They" being the cops, the pigs, the LAPD! Man! Listen to this..

So basically since I've been back in LA from school (about a year and some change) I've been driving with a suspended license. Wait! I know what you're thinking...Idiot, stupid, irresponsible, etc. Smh, I already know. I could've been taken care of it but I've been putting it off forever. I know its dumb but I just hate court rooms. I seen my uncle get sentenced to 142 years when I was 7 years old and been scarred every since. I don't care for judges either. And police? What black person gets along with them? No Bryant Gumbol or Carlton Banks here. So anyways I'm driving down Slauson and the next thing I know I see those blue lights! So automatically my heart drops somewhere in the pit of my stomach and I feel like I just rode Supreme Scream for the first time again, because I know what's about to happen. Lil bro is in the whip with me and I calmly tell him, "I'm probably about to go to jail, call dad". So then officer Haberkorn (that's really dudes name; felt like I was in the south smh) approaches the window and asks for a nigga license and registration. All badddd...


So now I'm handcuffed facing this church, New Testament of God and Christ, how ironic right? Especially since I'm already knee deep in my prayers, hoping I don't go to the big house. Haberkorn then starts asking me and lil bro all sorts of mysterious questions... What gang are we from? Where the drugs at? Do we know Big Pasta? I'm in my head like "What is this dude on!?". So then I tell him I go to school, and hoop and stuff, thinking that'll give me a better look. He seemed uninterested and then looked as if he wanted to say, "Sure, sure. Don't all you niggers play ball".

Anywayss, by this time my pops and uncle arrive at the scene and these dudes have no regard for anything but CHRIST, seriously. And they walk up to the officers like they're about to do a citizens arrest! Me and Vaughn look at each other like "Wow, we allll about to go to jail now man". Lol. But that wasn't the case at all. 5 minutes later I was uncuffed. Haberkorn wrote me a ticket and let me go. Thank God! Forrrrreeeeaallll man.

Unfortunately they took the whip. Smh! They couldn't leave without doing something cop-ish. But even though they did that, I can't help but smile because I'm not in pen sharing showers til Monday morning. God is definitely GOOD, and I BELIEVE He heard my prayers. And not just because they were last minute, but because I've been calling on Him and seeking Him long before today. And I know I'm not perfect, OBVIOUSLY. But His love and mercy are, so who wouldn't serve a God like that.

So the moralS of this whole situation is, DON'T drive with a suspended license!, go to court!, pay your tickets!, don't rock with anybody with the last name Haberkorn! and most importantly, always TRUST in the LORD!

- Saved by Grace, A.L.A.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Flight of the Conchords

Since my favorite HBO show, Entourage is taking a break I had to find something else entertaining to watch besides my all time favorite channels (History and Discovery).. I came across this show on one of my late nights and it is hilarious. Some times a little corny with very unique humor, but I always laugh.

Its basically the semi-adventures of two bestfriends/bandmates from New Zealand as they go through life trying to make it in New York City. The life they live is really weak, but the always seem to be moving around and making things happen. I think its crazzy funny how they just break out in song sometimes, and its even funnier because more often then not the music, tune or melody is dope!

Mom Dukes called me weird for watching it, but I find it amuzing.. So hopefully somebody who never heard of it before will think the same.. If not, OH WELL! (Man that statement has been getting more and more use lately, hmmm)

Here's a clip of one of the songs though.. Funnyyy

Flight Of The Conchords...

Just UP..Randomness!

Most of my close friends know I dont sleep much..I think I said on here before Im averaging like 5 hours, that number has officially changed to like 3! I'm that friend who can be reached at almost any time on any given day. Lol.. But anyways, since I'm up right now kinda doing homework, kinda watching a movie, and kinda waiting on this So Far Gone mixtape to be posted, kinda thinking, I thought I'd just share my newest and most random thoughts with you all.. Lol
So without any further or do.. Auston'sssss Thoughts, courtesy of Randomness!

1. Doug is the best cartoon of all time. If anyone can find all the seasons on dvd for me, I'd probably do a back flip (which I've never did in my life) with extreme excitement. Hahaa

2. Did Rhianna really give CB the herp??? If sooo, I think the judge might waive all accounts of domestic violence.. If not good luck brotha.

3. Why is Martin so funny? That show can never get old. Whenever I'm bored, sad, mad or upset I just closemy eyes, pick a season and get ready to lmao! All the characters he plays are too funny! Dragon Fly Jones and Jerome are definitely my favorite. Gina funny to me too! Cole too! Ahhhh everybody and everything about that show is funny. CLASSIC!

4. My lil bro is my favorite person in the entire world. Dude is so funny and full of life. I love him. And NO I'm not mad he's 5 inches taller than me and I'm 5 years older..I guess thats just part of God's plan.

5. I really enjoy pop tarts. Especially the original strawberry, cinnamon is pretty awesome too.

6. Its Black History Month, I'll be writing a tribute to BHM blog soon.

7. That Beyonce song that goes, "If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it" is really weak to me. So now just because I like you, I gotta wife you?? Ohh nooo, come on now B, that's just irrational. How about I maybe take you to dinner first? Lol

8. Does anybody remember a show called The Adventures Pete and Pete on Nickelodeon?? I've asked like 3 of my friends and they all think I'm crazy and it never existed.. Smh, I know I'm not crazy man.

9. My next girlfriend will be my wife.

10. Kobe better win MVP!

I think that's all the random stuff that I have in my head for now. Plus I just found my self getting very sleepyyy (hypnotizer vioce lol ok that was corny, oh well!) I'm gonna try this sleep thing though. Goodnight people!


Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Reflection & Failure

each day, I am trying to live, chasing each thought, im dying to give hope to those without, I will never quit or slow down, I find myself crying, but still, I am inspired, and feeling love, for each color in the eyes of others, I find my desire to kill, to defy expectation, to light fires that yield a brighter future, I stand before the masses, and building a relationship with a Father whose dying has filled, rivers, hearts and dreams, I'm face down in the temple, it seems, when I deny the Giver, my screams resound with the sounds of His whisper, BELIEVE, i request, only with please, for HE is the only thing beating in me, so any bit of perfection you see, is his reflection.

and me, that's the selfish response, the arrogant grin, the inability to step past the within, to enjoy the without, no doubt that my skin arrives, long before I repent, yes, i smile, to hide my resentment, yes, i run, because to walk, is to sin, my eyes are on the prize, but i desire a fist held high, power is this, and these words, are my fire, to kiss, to fear no, man or woman, only a child, named failure.

DRAKE: So Far Gone!

Yoo wassup Drakesters and Drakettes hahaha,

In a few days (February 12) my favorite rapper Aubrey "Drizzy Drake Rogers" Graham mixtape is coming out. Drizzy's Back! Its been a while since he put out his own quality tape and I must say I'm ready to hear what my mans has to say.

I want to say a couple things about Drake being my favorite rapper though, because a lot of people have jumped on the bandwagon tough lately! Which isn't a bad thing, its great actually and shows some people have taste in good music (Shout out to Kanye lol). But one thing I hate is when people that I told about Drake try to out Drake me! Lol! If you don't understand it then its not for you to understand. But let me just say this, A LOT of people listen to Aubrey Graham because they heard it playing in my tape deck, or I put the disk in their hands, so if you're 1 of those people pay homage! Lol naw I'm kidding, but I'm for real at the same time. Idk about some of yall but I'm real and doing continual work on my realness, lol. So with that said let me shout out the person that put me on Drake in 05! Back when when everybody was listening to Ja Rule hahahaha. Shouts to my long time homegirl and good friend Candace Johnson. Probably the the #1 Aubrey Graham fan in America, she been on dude for a very very long time, so shout out to her for introducing me to good music way back when. Some of yall need to be on the same thing, pay homage, its not becoming of your character when you fake it! Lol

So yeaaaaaa with all of those thoughts broadcasted, go get the new Mixtape, presented by October's Very Own: So Far Gone. You can download it at, Shout to Oliver! I'm sure it'll be some fire. That's it, holla..

P.S. Post-Wayne Drake bandwagoners are a disgrace! Go get Room for Improvement or Comeback Season before you even put your hands on SO FAR GONE clowns! SMH!

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Welcome To My Dreams

I learn about myself through the clear eyes of those around me...mainly my parents and close friends. I find my circle becoming more of an ellipse, less rounded, more pointed...the weak fall.

The strong persevere, the strong in mind, at least....

Life is hard, so losing one's life must be easy. I life is precious, and I am chasing each breath.

I hope to live forever, I will live forever...long after my flesh and bones have returned to the dust from where they came.

I will live with He who lives within me today.

I have tremendous dreams, some of them unrealistic.

I want to be a PROFESSIONAL...At everything I do. Basketball player, entrepreneur, writer, sports agent, coach and what ever else my Maker has in store for me.

I want to write 3 books.

One is nearly completed.

I want to visit France and Rome.

I want to visit Israel and Mecca.

I want to understand why women allow self consciousness to continually assault them to death, and why wicked men find solace in their heartbreaking cries.

I want to be loved.

I want to buy mom dukes an island.

I want to give my wife the world and more.

I want her to be strong enough to carry me, the mortgage, and the rest of the world on her back.

I want to be imperfect.

I want her to accept me, all of my faults.

All of my poor decisions.

I want a better half.

I want to be complete.

I want her to look at me and see a figment of her dreams.

I want reality.

I want impossibility.

I want joy and peace.

I want patience and kindness.

I want to raise 10 children. 7 natural, 3 adopted.

I read book after book, think thought after thought.

Why does the mind seem boundless, but the heart hurt so bad when it is stretched?

I want my brother to prosper.

He will.

I want to make "the smile" the international language.

Do I want too much? Oh well, these are my dreams.

I want to change the world,

I want to change the world,

I may never be a sports agent..

I may never purchase that island...

I may never father a progeny.

Matter of fact, my final exhale could accompany this sentence...

But the world will be changed....because I was ONE more person who believed it could be done...

Bury me with my eyes open...I want to see God.

Friday, February 6, 2009

The Return of MJ

Check out my bro Marcus Johnson from USC.. He baptized this dude from Cal on the break last week.

You can start your "SHEEEEESSSSHHHHH!"right abooouuuuttt NOW! LOL

Jay Z: My President is BLACK!

I know it's a few people that haven't heard this, so I decided to post it. Jay does this song much justice. He represented for BLACK America, spoke some truth and soluted Barack once again..
Here are a few of the lyrics:

"....MY President is BLACK, infact he's half white/ So even in a racist mind he's half right/ So if you have racist mind you'll be alright/The President is BLACK, but his house is all white/ Rosa Parks sat so Martin Luther could walk/ Martin Luther walked so Barack Obama could run/ Barack Obama ran so all the children could fly/ So ima spread my wings, you can meet in the sky..."

What Means The World To You?

Opening statement: I really need to be sleep, but I just don't too well with that whole thing. I'm averaging like 5 hours a night right now. Too much to be done, and not enough time.. So I'm currently up, watching Blue Streak, eating some peaches (chilllllll lol), and writing this blog. Lol.

OK, now lets begin...


Is it God? Money? Happiness? Sex? Love? Drugs? Whatever it is, this is what drives most of us and fuels us each day. However so many people have fixations and unrealistic views of this world. The things we choose to fuel us, usually don't fuel us at all, and if they do its not for long. We chase after money, and the end result is we always need more. We search for love and the end result of that is similar to money. Love stabs some of us in the back. Especially when it's in the wrong hands. We jump from relationship to relationship only to be more hurt than the time before. Times we think we're in love we tend to make bad decisions and have more regrets than normal. We use drugs, and those leave us more confused than before. Fact is, when we use drugs we're just trying to escape reality, but whenever that high comes down, reality is right there waiting on us. Sex is no different, those of us who use sex to make things better usually end up alone and wanting something more in the long run. We've probably hurt more than a handful of people by giving it away with no regard. We vicariously live out all of these things, but end up with negative results. Time and time again, we're faced with troubled times and we act as if we don't know how we got there. Have we NOT learned???

Each of us have the ingredients to avoid most trouble in our lives. But the CHOICE has to be made. God gave us free will, so the choice is ours, RIGHT or WRONG? SUCCESS or FAILURE? HAPPINESS or SADNESS? We all have these choices. Some peoples situations cause them to not believe in positivity or good choices but the fact is, we can ALL make it. From any walk of life, and through whatever life throws you. But like I said before, choices and decisions have to be made.

The ingredients we must remember if we want to prosper are: God, focus, hard work, dedication, persistence, morals, kindness, temperance and any other positive action you can think of. But God definitely has to be at the forefront, and considered the main ingredient with anything you desire.

P.S. Notice I used the words 'us' and 'we' a lot in this post. Think about the reason why. I don't have all the answers, nor am I perfect but we all know whats real and whats not, whats good and whats bad. I'm just simply being real. And by using those words, I let y'all know I'm in the same boat with some of you. And choices have to be made in my life also. Good choices. The question was "What Means The World To You?", but the before you answer it think about what you have to do to get it.

Shout Out to my Bro with a million names Jay5 aka Cinco aka 5ive aka Jonnie5 aka Jonathan Smith.. Thanks for the title topic and for everything else. You already know! And oh yeaa,even though I'm lil bro, you wanna be like me soooooo bad! Hahahahahaha..


Aston Martin One-77

Here's a quick look at my girlfriend aka The Aston Martin One-77.. This thing is a beast! I saw it at the car show about a month ago, and I fell in love lol. I believe the release date is some time in 2011.. Hopefully I'll have money by then so I can get one. Might be a little tough though, especially since its said they're only making SEVENTY-SEVEN of them, hence the name "One-77".. Oh well, she's still beautiful haha.. Enjoy....

Thursday, January 29, 2009


No longer at the point in my life where I believe life doesn't change. People, seasons, weather, times CHANGE. LIFE changes! I'm starting to feel like this must be what it feels like to become a man. And I'm not talking about the BOY that calls himself a MAN. I'm talking about a real Man.. A man of God, a man of trust, a man of love, a man of many more things that I never even fathamed before. The Lord is good. It feels good to be at a point of peace and understanding. And although I don't understand ALL things, and I never will. I'm just grateful of the things I do understand, that they are helping me daily and leading in the direction to understand more................

Yooo what's good everybody (late night sleepy voice lol). Its crazzy late right now, about 3:30 am westcoast time and I'm up watching the Lakers lose a double over-time game againts the Charlotte Bobcats at HOME. Now for those of you that follow basketball know that the Lakers are one of the elite teams in the League, and the Bobcats are usually on the bottom as far as wins go. They always have some talented players, but in the past years they just couldn't find a way to win games. But this year they're doing a lot better and they made some CHANGES that made them better as a team. They got a new coach with credibility, they made timely trades for quality players, different game plan and selected a new focus. So after analyzing all of those thoughts I started thinking deeper, and my thoughts lead to my LIFE, and how it constantly changes. I thought about how I've learned, lost, gained and lost again. And as I continue to complete my journey in life I understand that change is always reoccurring. It is definitely one of the only consistent things that take place in life. You may not like change or welcome it with open arms but despite all your efforts to keep things the same, they always change. So the person that embraces change, doesn't break down when things change and understands that change is inevitable is ahead of the game. And they possess the wisdom and endurance it takes to move foward.

So with all of those things said. Nothing in the world is permanent, and we're foolish when we ask anything to last, but surely we're still more foolish not to take delight in it while we have it. If change is of the essence of existence one would have thought it only sensible to make it the premise of our philosophy.

Sorry if I got a little deep on yall at the end. Hahaha, I was kinda feeling myself lol. Thanks for reading though. Comment if you have any thoughts.. One!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Kobe IV's

Yoooo. I just want to let all the "hoopers" know that these new Kobes are killer! Lol. I've had mine for about a week now (thanks and shout outs to my man Gary F at NIKE) and they're 1 of the best hoop shoes I've ever worn. What makes me like them more is they're not the typical basketball shoe. The color scheme on this edition is pretty unique, (black, yellow, purple and grey) unlike any other Kobe. The reptile print symbolizing the "Black Mamba" on the toe and heel make the shoe crazzy stylish. You can definitely rock these Kob's off the court as well as on. Its the lightest basketball shoe on the market, so match that comfortablity and you can just imagine what's on your feet. I'd say they feel something like a cloud, or maybe a pillow.. Idk, pick 1 lol.

And I'm not gonna tell you to go get them because NIKE isn't paying me for promotion, but if they were I'd be the top spokesperson. Screaming "Kobe IV's, Kobe IV's, Kobe IV's!" Hahahahaha

P.S. I felt compelled to write this blog after last night performance from my main man KB24 against Bron... Dislocated finger. Double double. Sick Nike's. And the W. Nothing else needs to be said.

Bible vs. Blackberry

Ok before any of you judge this title, DON'T! For 1, I own a blackberry, and 2.. I'm writing this ON my blackberry! Lol.. Ok now what I wanna say is these BB devices are addicting! I'm on mine a lot, but I've found myself becoming less addicted to it lately. I tried to make up a million reasons for why this is, but its nothing other than God. I've been in my Bible a lot lately, just trying to gain understanding, receive wisdom, and increase my faith. So a lot of the time when the BB is calling me, I just ignore it. Especially when I'm in the Word. And whenever I'm done reading, I just feel at peace. And I'm not gonna even front, some stuff I just don't understand, even after reading the scripture multiple times, but I'm ok with that. I'm well aware that it's going to take lots of time and studying to gain the wisdom and understanding of the Bible as a whole. So yea, that's what I'm on, seeking God's love and wisdom.

So if you own a blackberry don't feel too convicted, especially if you're not on it a lot. Just be aware, pick up a Bible and further your relationship with Christ. He loves us!

For my closing, I'll leave you with 2 of my favorite scriptures... Matthew 6:33 "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness; and all these things should be added unto you.." Psalm 37:4 "Delight thyself in the Lord and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.." Really think about those 2 passages.. They're beyond deep! They give me confidence and help me to remember to keep HIM first.

P.S. Bible wins!

Inauguration 2009 aka Obama Day!

As well all know today is an important day in history for America. It is also a historical time for BLACK America. Our leaders have fought long and hard for today. Our President is Black people! Idk about yall but I think that's pretty HUGE! Not dissing any other President (ok maybe I'll diss Bush a little haha) but this is the 1st time EVER that America has been United in such a way. Everybody is showing love. Black, whites, hispancs, asians all united for the greater good. Its just a great time to be an American.

I read somewhere that when Barack was a young boy, he thought he'd be a professional basketball player, a lawyer, or a doctor. All respected and important professions. But he never thought in a million years that he'd be the President of the United States. Never thought he'd be making impecable speeches in front of millions of people. Never thought he'd be devising plans to better the economy of a whole country. Never in a million years did he have these thoughts, but God did. I say that to say, you may not know where you're headed, but if you just keep moving in the right direction you'll end up where you're meant to be.... And its because 47 years ago a man choose to head in the right direction, now we have a leader, someone who believes in Christ and believes in doing things the right way; with hardwork and dedication. Soo once again idk about you, but I'm pretty excited about the things to come. New beginnings, new energy, new everything! Congrats President Barack Obama!