Growth? Maybe Just A Little..

I always talk about forward progression, its probably one of my favorite terms to use to date. I tend to think about it a lot. Often I'll find myself in prayer, but really having a conversation with the Lord, asking him to answer some of the questions I had. Often times there were simple answers like: The need for certain things in my past to be left by the waste side; a process I believe still isn't finished. However, when a decision like this is made, a lot of things that used to be normal to you lose form, you don't see situation the same as you did before, things you used to laugh at are no longer funny, thoughts you used to think are no longer acceptable, words you used speak have become forbidden. Not only habits and consistencies have to be left alone but many people will be cut out too, close friends included, and some times even family. There's is some uneasiness that comes with it though, especially with the ones you've been close with for so long, but a wise man knows better things lie ahead. Not to mention, it is written, there comes a time for everything, and everything has a place under the timing of God (Eccles. 3).

I've never been good with separation between people. I never dealt with it well. It didn't matter if it was a relationship of mine, or when my parents had their time apart, or even when friends of mine would choose to no longer be friends. I just didn't like it, and it always made me feel a certain way and I never knew why. But this was all before I understood that bible verse. Its funny looking back now, remembering all the excess baggage I would carry with me, all the company I kept, all the decisions I've made, especially the bad ones (no pun intended). Looking back and seeing myself as I was doesn't hurt though, and I rarely beat myself up about it, because it is what it is, my PAST. I've grown and did some fine tuning in my life. I'm at the point where I can look back, laugh and SEE the growth and the lesson learned. It doesn't hurt that I have faith in the fact that God had HIS reasons for most of the stuff either. (I say most, because there were definitely times I just refused to listen, SMH. Man, if it wasn't for HIS mercy) I guess that's the part that makes me laugh, just thinking about His vastness/greatness makes me reveal a smile.

I am no where near done growing physically, naturally or spiritually though, and that's simply because God isn't finished with me, as long as I move in His direction. I'm sure 3 or 4 years from now I'll be able to look back on 2009 and say, "I could've done some things differently". And I'm fine with that. This is my life, I'm told you only get ONE, so you should believe I'm going to learn as much as possible, love all, forgive as I would want to be forgiven, be a contributor beyond measure, and an example of kindness. My goal is to just have a gentle spirit, period. These are important qualities, and I believe they shouldn't be taken lightly. I know I'm blessed so its the very least I can do. Life is good, God has been merciful, yet giving continually and I feel like growth and knowledge are flowing my way. So I'm gonna let it all soak in, say my prayers and dream....BIG!

Shout out to everybody, God is Great! Lights out!

.....on my BLACKBERRY.