LEO THE LION aka ME

In preparation for my approaching birthday which is August 7,I have co-written a very detailed description of myself and my kind-The Leo. It describes me and my lifestyle to a T (where that means, you know old people say it, so it sounds right).. But yea, it pretty much speaks for itself. So enjoy..Leave a comment and tell me what you think..

The zodiac sign of Leo has the symbol of 'The Lion' and just like a lion; a Leo believes that he rules everyone else. Don't tell him he doesn't, it will break his big, loving, proud heart. Leos can easily go from being vigorously outgoing to plain lazy. If you want to find a Leo, go to the most dazzling places in the town. You will find him there, surrounded by people and playing his role in the limelight beautifully. He likes to live in style and hates boredom. There are hardly any introvert Leos, only those who pretend to be introverts.

They are in love with their pride and ego and fiercely protect what they believe to be theirs. The lion loves to give advice on how you should manage your life and feels himself to be superior to others. However, his ego is very vulnerable and he will get deeply hurt if you don't respect his wisdom. It is difficult to ignore the lion for too long, he will be the center of attraction sooner or later. The best way to tame him is to flatter him; he will turn into a purring kitten. Praising the intellect will work as much as admiring the appearance will.

He is pretty clever and will never ever bother to waste his energy on something insignificant. Leo holds back nothing, not even his approval and compliments. Infact, he is so generous with compliments that he can make you embarrassed and self-conscious. At the same time, he is equally vocal about the things he does not like. However, one thing you can be sure of - he means what he says. You may or may not like it, but it is his true opinion. Leo plays the perfect host, treating you to the best of everything, right from ambience to the dessert.

He has a forgiving nature and is full of sympathy. Even in his love life, he easily reconciles after a split up. Leos are passionate in every aspect of their life, be it love or career or any other thing. They are rarely without a partner and life without love is a big no-no for them. They practically thrive on romance. A Leo is never the one to be dependent on someone. Rather, he loves to lead and be leaned upon. He may complain every now and then about the responsibilities, but in his heart he loves to have them. He dislikes taking help, especially of a financial nature.

On the other hand, he will gives loan to almost everyone. A Leo may run out of cash easily, since he is anything but cautious with it. However, he will always be the best-dressed person at the party. His behavior always borders on the extreme. A Leo will either be extremely careless and sloppy or meticulously neat and orderly. He is also extremely fixed with his ideas and it is very hard to convince him against his opinions. He likes to do one thing at a time. When he is working, you can be sure, he will forget to have his lunch too.

When he's partying, he will put the dance floor on fire. Leos turn out to be the bravest ones in a group, especially in the face of an emergency. They are very loyal, extremely possessive and highly jealous. The lion fiercely defends what he believes to be his. He is a powerful enemy, but one with morals. Creativity and originality are his fortes. Even though he has an ego, is arrogant and overflows with pride, he is extremely good at heart. Being with a Leo will mean that you always have someone to care for, though you may have to flatter him every now and then.

Oh YEAH!

LOS ANGLES LAKERS are the WORLD CHAMPIONS!

I'm crazzy pumped for my favorite player BLACK MAMBA aka KB24 aka Bean! Another CHAMPIONSHIP! That makes FOUR..for NOW. How crazy is that though? Must be NICE! It was definitely a collective effort though and I must say we are more than worthy this year. The crown fits US well. And YES I said US.. I am a Laker! Have always been a Laker and will continue to be a Laker. Even if we never win another 'SHIP again! (which is NOT likely)...

But anyways shout out to my bros TA and LO (Trevor Ariza and Lamar Odom for the non basketball fans).. Rock yall rings proudly, cause without the 2 of you Kobe might still be at 3. No disrespect Bean, but the League is looking tougher and tougher. But yo TA, you should have Kob' give you the Ferrari or something! Lol..

Shout out to the whole roster! God bless, congrats and lets do it it again next year! Everybody be safe at the parade tomorrow. I won't be able to attend, I'll be too busy trying to get paid like above mentioned. Definitely there in spirit though. Peeeeaaaaccceee!

Where To Now

I woke up in a cold sweat, that was the 1st sign. Thoughts of the time we share always found a way to disturb my sleep. Things were good, I'll even go as far to say it was great. We were the perfect blend, similar personalities, kind hearts and true love birds. We were more than friends, more than lovers, more than our pasts. Together, we were better than the others. I liked to believe we were soul mates, as corny as it sounds. I could tell her anything, and Lord knows my ear would bleed at times from the reoccurrence of her words, but I always listened, even if I had already heard the story 5 or 6 times, which was often. I believed she was unlike all the rest, she was an old soul, mixed with morals and loyalty, mixed in with a small pinch of gangsta... And I loved her. Everything about her. But still through all of this, neither one of us could predict what was next to take place. And for that reason alone, the story ends here because what's next to happen hasn't happened yet.


.........on my Blackberry.

WAR

"There's a war going on inside no man is safe from, it don't matter if you 3 feet or eight one.."

I never understand how treacherous it would be to be in a battle without a shield, that is, until that point in time where I actually was found without mine. The battle, the war I speak of is within all of us, and you'd be surprised at how many are fighting without their shield. The fight has to be fought and no man can avoid or dodge it. Often times we're thrown onto the battlefield and we don't even know it, fighting and swinging blindly, getting nowhere, sometimes even for years. And its a wonder why we haven't been destroyed yet. Well, I take that back, its mercy, God's grace and mercy that saves us.

While I'm writing this blog, I am in the middle of a spiritual cleanse aka fasting. Basically, trying to get my armor up. The devil is known for throwing those continual shots at us, all of US, and I want to have the power to fight them with no question. We always here the statement, "life is short", and its true. Life is way too short to be walking around aimlessly, without purpose and unable to fight off attacks from the enemy. You automatically entered the war when you were born, and you have a choice to fight or lay down. I don't know about everybody else, but I choose to fight, and not only fight, but I choose to win. The Lord says in his word that Victory is His, so I trust that being on his team makes me a winner.

Update, Random, Shout Outs, Whatever.

PTL Everybody ("Praise The Lord" for those of you that's just catching Up)..

I got some stuff to talk about.. First things first, it's summer time. Notice there is no exclamation point. AND, usually when someone speaks of summer you hear some kind of excitement in their voice, but not this time around. This summer is about business and forward progression ALL THE WAY THROUGH. God is blessing and opening doors in my life as well as the people around me, and I'm looking forward to doing some great things in the near future.

So, second, a little update on my trip to the Maryland, DC area enjoying a mini vacation/Wedding and Graduation for my bro Nate and his wifey, Angelique! They both graduated from The US Naval Academy in Annapolis, MD. They graduated with honors on Friday, got married on Saturday and flew home, to LA on Sunday. So you can just imagine what kind of weekend we had. The graduation was super official, Obama spoke to the people, as me and my boys (JO, AD, DJ, Gav and BWills) enjoyed some chicken tenders in the bleachers trying to stay awake, due to the effects from the night before. The wedding was even more official, I've never been lost for words but the whole ceremony had me speechless. And yea I'll admit it, a small tear dropped from my eye during the commencement, oh well. I was just happy to see my boy marry his love and to be able to be apart of it was just crazy! As for the bachelor party and all the other night time events you get NO details of what happen... Just apply the cliche they use for Vegas, "What happens in DC.....STAYS in DC...!" But yeaa man, Congrats to my FAM for jumping the broom. I truly love you guys and I'm beyond happy for you. May God continue to bless your relationship, and much happiness and success to the both of you. Long live the Clarks! Lol.

Next.. My bro Tristan aka TMula aka Foreign Curren$y aka T$ is back home from Canada for the summer. And boy, have we been getting IT IN. Its sort of a trio though.. A combination of Me, Mula and MJ. And quiet as kept, we're looking for an appearance from Rome soon too. But more importantly look for big things to come from US.. As a trio and as individuals. That's all I'm going to say about that for now, but my advice would be to keep your eyes open, WIDE open.

Another thing... Me and the fam are finally settled in the not so new house and it's like we've lived here for years, I'm more comfortable than I've been a long time and my family feels the same way. We've just been continuing to prosper and be happy. I want to give GOD all the honor and glory on this because it is truly only because of Him, He is the only reason things are the way they are. Every since we've all strengthened are relationship with Christ and picked up leadership roles in our church. I can definitely say the good Lord is a rewarder and is worthy of continual praise.

Lastly.. Shout Outs! Shout out to everybody whose name appeared in the blog already. So that's double shouts, lol. Shout out to Bishop, my First Lady and my church FAMILY, especially Elder Osegura and Min. Mia, extremely annointed women of God, thank you for aiding me in the maturing of my faith. Shout out to my best friend, my little homie, my right hand just because I feel like it. Shout out Ms. Roschoune just because too, not a lot of people grind like you, so I gotta show love for that. Last on the shout out list, my lil bro Vaughn aka VA. Congratulations on closing up your junior year of high school, continue to achieve beyond the stars and keep God as your light. I love you and nothing or no one can every come between us.

That's all for now.. There should be some cool stuff posted on here within the next week, so continue to check, leave a comment if you like..

I'm ouuuut!
Peace, favor and blessings to everybody..
-ALA

Walk Alone

When I stopped listening to other people's opinions and realized I didn't need counterpart for all my endeavors, I got better. Better things started happening for me. And although I was by myself in the world, I wasn't alone.

Sometimes you have to make decisions, and some decisions you make effect the rest of your life. Age becomes irrelevant and productivity and responsibility take over. Tonight I could've been out partying for my brotha's birthday (shout out to him; j5), but I couldn't. I had to make a decision for myself and my future, I had things that needed to get done, thoughts that needed to processed and action that needed to take place. All these things of importance HAD to be done, and they could not wait, not one minute. For if I lost this time, I probably wouldn't have came to certain conclusions, nor would I ha.e the same revelations about my thoughts. So the importance of handling things NOW and not LATER definitely intensifies.

Walk alone for a while and you'll find yourself. And finding yourself is of the utter most importance, its almost at an emergency level. So many of us don't know our true self, going through life imitating others and setting our sights on with others have. Don't be so simple, there's more to life. More than clubs, alcohol, drugs, money, cars and material things. Let's look deeper and take action. The time is now.

Collision

At some point you have to collide with destiny. For those that don't know, destiny is what we choose, all the decisions we make in life, added up. The collision that takes place is inevitable, there is no way around it. Every man comes face to face with his destiny, whether it leads to success or not. Although success is every one's ultimate goal, many never reach it, this doesn't mean you've failed at reaching your destiny, you got there, but it just wasn't a successful end. There are many factors along the way that help us decide when, how and where we'll land in our destiny. Some factors being positive and others bearing a more negative circumstance. One must keep their eyes open and be aware of the traps that have been set. Listening to cliche's is essential, its simple at times, learn from other peoples mistakes. Don't fail to realize we weren't the first ones here, understand that there were people before us who made countless mistakes, colliding with destiny negatively. So just know there is nothing new under the sun. Live right, collide into greatness.

50!

Yo yo yo! PTL everybody... Welcome to the 50th post! I know it's been awhile since I gathered thoughts and let the public take a listen. Sorry to those I've kept waiting. But I've been living! Not only that, my thoughts have just been everywhere lately. With so much going on, I found it hard to just settle down and reflect. God has been blessing in such an abundance, and I just haven't had the time to catch up. Things have been great for the most part though. I got to do some traveling, see some different things and be apart of my bros wedding in DC (I'll post a few pics soon). However, life never ceases to amaze me, I always find myself in aww at the things God puts in front of me. Opening doors you would think could never be opened, implementing confidence and boldness in my heart for EVERY situation, even the tough ones. It just feels good to be on this side of the fence, receiving favor from above and helping others to know the truth also. That's the jest of what's been going on lately. So with the month of June beginning, I'm ready to post new, more informative and creative blogs. So thanks again to everybody who supports the blog. And again, apologies for my absence, but believe me it was definitely worth it. I got some gooooood stuff for yall, soo God bless and keep reading!

-ALA

Wise Thoughts From A Decent Man.

Nothing in the world is permanent, and we're foolish when we ask anything to last, but surely we're still more foolish not to take delight in it while we have it.

If change is of the essences of existence one would have thought it only sensible to make it the premise of our lives.

There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.

If someone decides to lend a helping hand, don't look to see if its green. Just accept it.

God will bless you in this life when you live for the next life.

-ALA

I Lost, But WE Win.

One time I lost. Probably one of the biggest losses in my life to date. I can remember the ill feeling that formed itself inside of me. It was painful and excruciating, the kind I wouldn't wish on my worse enemy. At first it didn't make sense nor did I know what was happening, but after awhile of reflection and prayer things became clear to me. I was being broken down so I could be made tougher. And I needed to be tougher so I could endure more. This toughness that was formed wasn't your average male ego toughness though, definitely not the kind of foolish toughness that believes he'll never lose again, but instead, it was the toughness of bouncing back and bettering myself at the end of each loss, which also now I see, makes my losses few and further in between. Still, this loss hurt like no other, but through the pain I always felt like there was a reason or major explanation for it. And that's why we go back to that word toughness. Surely this toughness that was created through the loss and turmoil was needed, it was a much needed change, it was a much need experience with pain.

Through the pain I allowed God to finesse, groom and teach me. Because of obedience, I was rewarded...

Through this new found self-sufficency, devotion and boldness I acquired gifts. Gifts from God. Many were as simple as understanding situations in my past and seeing how God brought me through, other gifts were larger in part, for example; the gift of helping people come to Christ and just multiplying and spreading the word all for the glory of His kingdom. The gift of wisdom is a magnificent thing, especially at a young age. Wisdom meaning, you understand you don't know everything about this life, or about other peoples lives and their situations, and you even acknowledge the fact that you haven't discovered everything about yourself. You realize there's always room to grow, keeping yourself prepared and remembering devotion equals results.

Having discernment in this world is also a precious gift, just to be able to look through certain situations and avoiding potholes is a blessing, especially because in your past you were accustomed to fall in so many. So avoiding them alongside Christ makes things so much better. There are many gifts, many favors, many blessings God wants to bestow upon us, we just have to be faithful and have continual praise, despite all pain. That is the key way to enter into the door of God's heart, love and abundance in ALL things.

So even in defeat, we win. There's always a light at the end of the tunnel, even if your tunnel is longer than someone elses, you just have to keep moving to get to it, push forward, trample fear, demolish pain, pray often, don't stop!

Supposed TO...

Supposed to be a millionaire two summers ago, well according to MY time, which is irrelevant. But the truth is, I hadn't added the major component to my life, my Lord and His will. The Lord's plan for our life is ALL that matters. To not be on His side is suicide and I wasn't on His side or time. We've all heard the term, "God works in mysterious ways". I think that's a huge understatement.

Supposed to be in the NBA by now, well according to MY time, which is irrelevant. You see, the doctors said I'd be 6'4, and I believed them. My coaches said if I changed schools I'd get more recognition for my game. The newspapers said I was one of the best in my class. All of these voices, all of these opinions.. Irrelevant! The only voice, the only plan that has any validity to me comes from the One I put all my trust in NOW.

Supposed to marry my ex by now, well according to MY time, which is irrelevant. I wasn't faithful, I wasn't truthful and I at times I couldn't be trusted. All characteristics needed to sustain a successful love relationship. All things God revealed to me later on in my life. These things I have now, thanks to God and his mercy. I could have been that way forever, but He had something else in store for me.

All of these things we say, we were supposed to be, supposed to do, supposed to have mean NOTHING. You must have the right coach leading you in the right direction. We will always go through rough times and everything will never be perfect. But what is important is, GROWTH. We must be obedient and trust the outline for life God has for us. We're so quick to say everything happens for a reason, and in most cases it does. But we also have to remember we've been given the gift of free will, and some of the decisions we make can detour us off of the road we're predestined for.

Trust God through it all, and you will have it all, all that matters at least.

Side BARS:

PTL Everyboody, Wassup MOM DUKES! (Special shout out to her FOR NO REASON.)

My CHURCH Bowling Night is tonight and I'm pumped. World Won for Christ, definitely on the move. And while we're on the subject of church, I'm looking for aspiring gospel artists (singers, writers and a rapper), for a Young Adult event I'm organizing this summer. Email me at youngceos1@yahoo.com if you or someone you know may be interested.

All FACEBOOK heads! I will be deleting my .book at the end of the month. I have many reasons for this, but simply put..it's just something that needs to be done.

WISE WORDS FROM A DECENT MAN: "Wait your turn. Because its coming"-MA

Summer is coming fast which means '09 is pretty much over. I've been known to have some pretty crazy summers, but a lot of the time it was wild and frivolous fun. I wonder what this summer will bring now that I've made some changes. I'm sure it'll be very eventful, and many challenges will arise, but I'm prepared. Also, big plans have been made, but I believe and understand God's plan is the ONLY one that counts, so if it's His will, things will come to fruition. DIOS QUIERE! Oh yea, I'm brushing up on my Spanish, it's a little rusty. Shout out to my little bro, who's in AP Spanish III by the way. But that's enough rambling.. I'm done for now.

These are your ANNOUNCEMENTS!

Everybody have a blessed and safe weekend.

ALA .

Growth? Maybe Just A Little..

I always talk about forward progression, its probably one of my favorite terms to use to date. I tend to think about it a lot. Often I'll find myself in prayer, but really having a conversation with the Lord, asking him to answer some of the questions I had. Often times there were simple answers like: The need for certain things in my past to be left by the waste side; a process I believe still isn't finished. However, when a decision like this is made, a lot of things that used to be normal to you lose form, you don't see situation the same as you did before, things you used to laugh at are no longer funny, thoughts you used to think are no longer acceptable, words you used speak have become forbidden. Not only habits and consistencies have to be left alone but many people will be cut out too, close friends included, and some times even family. There's is some uneasiness that comes with it though, especially with the ones you've been close with for so long, but a wise man knows better things lie ahead. Not to mention, it is written, there comes a time for everything, and everything has a place under the timing of God (Eccles. 3).

I've never been good with separation between people. I never dealt with it well. It didn't matter if it was a relationship of mine, or when my parents had their time apart, or even when friends of mine would choose to no longer be friends. I just didn't like it, and it always made me feel a certain way and I never knew why. But this was all before I understood that bible verse. Its funny looking back now, remembering all the excess baggage I would carry with me, all the company I kept, all the decisions I've made, especially the bad ones (no pun intended). Looking back and seeing myself as I was doesn't hurt though, and I rarely beat myself up about it, because it is what it is, my PAST. I've grown and did some fine tuning in my life. I'm at the point where I can look back, laugh and SEE the growth and the lesson learned. It doesn't hurt that I have faith in the fact that God had HIS reasons for most of the stuff either. (I say most, because there were definitely times I just refused to listen, SMH. Man, if it wasn't for HIS mercy) I guess that's the part that makes me laugh, just thinking about His vastness/greatness makes me reveal a smile.

I am no where near done growing physically, naturally or spiritually though, and that's simply because God isn't finished with me, as long as I move in His direction. I'm sure 3 or 4 years from now I'll be able to look back on 2009 and say, "I could've done some things differently". And I'm fine with that. This is my life, I'm told you only get ONE, so you should believe I'm going to learn as much as possible, love all, forgive as I would want to be forgiven, be a contributor beyond measure, and an example of kindness. My goal is to just have a gentle spirit, period. These are important qualities, and I believe they shouldn't be taken lightly. I know I'm blessed so its the very least I can do. Life is good, God has been merciful, yet giving continually and I feel like growth and knowledge are flowing my way. So I'm gonna let it all soak in, say my prayers and dream....BIG!

Shout out to everybody, God is Great! Lights out!

.....on my BLACKBERRY.

To THE People!

PTL! Wassup everybody, how's it going? Hope all is well, hope everyone and their families are blessed.

I don't have a story for you guys this time around. Just want to share some of my thoughts and show some appreciation. First, I'm gonna talk about this whole blogging thing and what its done for me. A lot of people say stuff about people with blogs, I've been called weird, a loser, weak, etc. But I really could care less because I know what the blessing God have promised me and writing is one of them. I never plan on making money from this or even expanding further than this page, I honestly just do it for fun. I'm glad people support it, I'm thankful for the comments, I appreciate alllll the love. But once again, honestly, I just do it for fun and the love of writing.

The second thing I want to address is, about my actual posts. I just want to answer some questions that have been asked frequently, like : Do I really write this stuff? Who am I talking about? Blah, Blah, Blah!? Ummm.. Ok. So.. I write everything that I post, no plagiarism here. If I do take a quote or something from some where or some one, I'll most likely use quotation marks to distinguish it frommy actual words. To answer the other question.. Some of the posts are definitely about people in my life, certain situations, and specific times in my life. Sometimes it'll be an exact feeling that I'm dealing with that particular day and I'll just pull the blackberry and start going. My inspiration comes from everything and a lot of people around me. But to me, that's just writing period. The writers/authors I like to read talk about real life stuff, express real feelings and that's what I like to do also.

The 3rd thing I wanted to talk about is.. these playoffs! So DOPE, Ooohh weee! It's only night 4 of the 40 games in 40 nights. My Lakers are 2-0 heading into Utah on Friday, moving closer and closer to the sweep. Everybody is playing really well, TA and Gasol have been outstanding. Kobe is doing his usaul amazing-ness. Everybody in the West is either 1-0 or 1-1 right now, no one is 2-0. The Houston Rockets are looking impressive even though they lost tonight. The only team I'm worried about is the beast in the east, Cleavland, but we wont have to see them until the Championship (if they make it). They're really looking good though, LeBronias is a monster! He just dunks and lays everything. Plus his supporting cast is playing just as well up to this point. So it should be very interesting. So all I can do is keep watching!

Lastly, but certainly not least, I want to talk about my God, my Lord, my ROCK and what HE's done for my family and I. He has been sooo GOOD. For about 6 months my parents have been looking to buy a house. Now most people wouldn't think twice about buying a home, but buying one at this time is definitely not happening often. The market is terrible and the so called recession has everybody shook! But my family and I know that with God, any and everything is attainable. After searching and having our heart set on a few homes early on in the process, God finally gave us the OK this past week. We got the best house of all. My mom is happy, brother and pops are satisfied, and I'm just grateful, thankful for the Lord's blessing. I know there are more to come, so I'm going to continue to stay in line, serve him, and practice obedience. And for those of you that think its fake or unreal over here, just try God. We've tried everything else, but the only one who can save, bless and multiply is God. And no one is going to be perfect, but He's knows everything, our hearts included, so as long as that is in the right place, we'll be just fine!

Alright I'm OUT.. I know this was a lot of random stuff, but thanks for reading. Hope yall enjoy it. Peace!

Victoria & I

So I did what any man in my situation would do, I left. After all, the relationship was beyond a strain, and even though my heart was in it, I couldn't help but feel there was an unfilled space that required to be filled for us to ever have a chance. And although we both agreed this separation was needed,with me still feeling attached, I just knew it was the right thing to do, we had to grow. It was hard and I I had so many questions. Like why not sooner? Why did I even met her? Was it true love? I understood but I didn't want to.

It had been 1 month after our 2 year anniversary. We seemed to be "in love" and I always believed she could be the ONE.

We met in the city, and as soon as I saw her my first instinct said approach her. This was no ordinary task for me, mainly because they're went many women I had approached in my life time, I usually left it up to chance. But today was different, and my confidence said otherwise.
She was shopping alone, how I often did myself, so it made things easier. Beautiful in her own right, possessing the essence of what I thought to be an angel, I had to know her name. So I asked. Victoria. That was her name.

Victoria wasn't like most people, she dreamed big, loved hard and was as down to earth as they come. Still, there were parts of her I had to learn to love, which excited me, because she challenged my mind, expressed emotion, extremely intelligent about life, loved me deeply and was almost everything I wanted in a woman. She was as sure about herself as the sun was to rising every morning. Feisty as ever and always put up a fight. She approached everything with the attitude of perfection. Flawless was her middle name. Hair, skin, body all impeccable. But still there was something missing, and at this point, learning to love her became a struggle.

The day we separated, I found out a lot about myself. I found out I had a lot of uncertainties about my life, I found out that I hadn't completely forgiven people in my past; which is a must to have forward progression. I found out I had a lot of vulnerable times, I found out I had developed a precariousness about myself that wasn't there before. I picked up a lot of bad habits and that was the day I realized it, that day I realized I could be a better person. But more importantly, I realized that I my life was in dire need of a relationship with God. I realized that for all my other skeletons to be cleaned out of my closet, I needed the ONE that knew me inside and out on my side. My next move was tough but obvious. And even though Victoria and I ended our relationship at the time, my Lord and I lit the fire to ours. And it was the best decision I ever made.

I've been a pastor for over 5 years now. Victoria and I have a 3 year old daughter, who is the apple of my eye. And yes, you're correct, Victoria and I are happily married and doing God's work. She is my by side locked and loaded with full support, she is the woman I've always wanted, she is my wife, my best friend, my first lady. I thank God everyday for His plans.I'm thankful because He choose me and also because His plan for my life was way better than mine could have ever been. By making the decision to listen I've been able to, little by little, apprecieve His will and discern about His love. Simply put, His love is far greater than any noun the mind can think of. He taught me how to love my wife, build a truthful Church, create business and jobs, and all at the same time He teaches me how to love and serve Him more and more each day. He cleaned me up and gave me the things I've always dreamed of (wife, child, health, happiness, wealth) and all because I gave my life to Him, and I'd do it all over again, no hesitation. To God be the glory for my life, my wife and my heartbeat.

God In ME = Muy Fuego!

PTL! (Praise The Lord)

Wassup everybody.. I know some of yall may have heard this, but for you others, I hope it blesses you tremendously. Mary Mary is and HAS been fire for a very long time. I've met them once and they are definite saints of God and they truly love the Lord. I support the movement, I'm apart of the movement, and this song is killer. So with that saidd ENJOY, and be blessed!!!



Remember! God is GREAT, and the fight is on!

P.S. Here are the lyrics for the people who are interested in them ;-).

I just wanna tell the truth mayne [4x]
[Verse 1:]Your so fly your so high
Everbody around you trying to figure out why
Your so cool you win all the time
Everywhere you go man you get alot of shine
Boy like a magnet better yet I have it
Everything you wear people say they got have it
From the sweat suit to the white tee to the gucci
You can probably say people wanna get like me

[Hook:]But what they don't know is when you go home
and get behind closed doors man you hit the floor
and what they can't see is your on your knees
So the next time you get it just tell em

[Chorus:]It's the God in me [5x]
you think I'm so fresh you think I'm so clean
You think I'm so sweet
It's the God in me
[Kiki:]God is in, in me you see

[Verse 2:]You see her style you think she nice
you look at her whip you say the whip tight
You look at her crib you thinkin she paid
you look at her life you think she's got it made
but everything she got the girl's been given
She calls it a blessing but you call it living
When it comes to money she can be a hero
She writes them cheacks with a whole lot of zeros

[Hook:]But whacha don't know is when she get home
and get behind closed doors man she hit the floor
and whacha can't see is she on her knees
And if you ask her she'll tell ya

[Chorus:]It's the God in me [5x]
you think I'm so fresh you think I'm so clean
You think I'm so sweet It's the God in me
[Kiki:]God is in, in me you see
[Kiki:]What is it you think you see
when you see me, you see me
You don't know how much I pray
don't know how much I gave
don't know how much I changed
I'm just tryna explain

[Chorus:]It's the God in me [5x]
you think I'm so fresh you think I'm so clean
You think I'm so sweet It's the God in me
[Kiki:]God is in, in me you see

Vicious Cycle

I met her that night I went out with guys. It started off unlike most situations of this nature, pure innocence. I was sitting at the bar watching the game, trying to see what my good friend did on his debut night on the court of his first NBA game. The fellas were nearby playing pool and mingling with the women that were around. I was uninterested because I had a girl at home, we were serious, I cared for her, plus the game was on! But after about 15 minutes of that, my attention shifted and a sudden weakness passed through my body. A bad, bronze skin, beautiful faced woman sat next to me, ordered a drink, and started commenting on the game. I ignored the first few statements, trying not to make eye contact or conversation, but I was surely unable to avoid her essence or how beautiful she was. I tried to focus my attention back toward the game and the game only, and then she said something. I felt compelled to counter, because of what was said, she had called my boy weak! So I replied very salty, "You crazy!, That's my boy, he's real" She laughed and broke his game down to a T, surprisingly very accurate too, not missing a beat. I was amazed at a woman having that insight and capacity of the game, not saying it wasn't possible but it just caught me off guard, and I was drawn in. The night carried on and we convo'd about numerous things: hoop, life and our past, until it was time to leave. And then the first akward moment showed its face. She asked to keep in contact, said she had a great time, enoyed my company and would like to do it again. In my head I'm like "Ahhhh". Because this woman is gorgeous, smart and very appealing. I too, enjoyed the random time spent with the woman but I had a girl at home! I knew it was wrong, but I give her the number anyway... DANG! That was my second mistake though, my first was not telling her I had a girl at home from the very beginning. But we exchanged numbers regardless, and my naive self thought she'd never call. Man, was I wrong. A week later when my girl was out of town, the blackberry rings, its her and she wants to see me. So at this point I have many decisions to make and even more thoughts forming in my thick skull. I make excuses to see her, telling myself, "Its ok, she's cool" and "I can have female friends, right?". So yea, I went. We met at the same place, shot some pool, had some drinks and laughed the whole night, not realizing we had so much in common. By this time I knew I had messed up and I was in too deep. Walking her to the car to say goodnight, still smiling from the night we just enjoyed, we kissed. Definitely one of the most intense, passionate and real kisses I've ever had, I was taken back for moment. Thinking of my girl, but it was too late. The wrong had already been done, I cheated. After the kiss I had mixed feelings, she was the complete opposite. Her face was glowing and I could see her heart on her sleeve. I knew I had to leave. After returning home, I sat and thought of what to do next. My girl would be home in 3 days and I couldn't decide between being a man, own up to my unfaithfulness, risking losing her, or holding on to the secret forever. I was torn. When she arrived she was so happy to see me, this made me feel worse, my heart just sank, but I knew what I had to do. So I told her, breaking her heart and causing the end of our relationship of 3 years. I was sick for weeks, mad at myself for allowing this to happen. But at the same time I was perplexed at the fact the girl I cheated with hadn't called since that night. I found that to be mysterious. So I picked up my phone and called her, and what she told me was even more sickening. She told me she hadn't called because she was disappointed in herself because she too was in a relationship with guy she loved and cared for. She told him what she had done and he was furious, but he didn't end their relationship, he choose to work through it and forgive her if she choose to never see me again. It seems he was a believer in second chances. I barely responded to the story she shared, not knowing what to say, she apologized and we hung up. Now, I'm feeling helpless, stupid, abandoned and confused all at the same time. I sat for awhile thinking about the vicious cycle I was just involved in and how I thought it could never happen to me, my thoughts just surfaced. My next move would be critical... It was only two things left for me to do, it was simple, I had to learn from this situation and move on. And that's exactly what I did.

The Imperfect Man

I am no where near perfect. I've told my fair share of lies. Broken a heart. Stolen. Been prideful. Judged people. Cheated on a girl I loved. Broke many promises. Declined success. Walked away from good situations. Lost friends. I can't remember the last time I give something 100%. Nor can I remember the last time I saw something through to the end. I can be extremely selfish. I choose not to care about things at the wrong time. I've been called unreliable. I'm known for not answering my phone. I go on occasional haitus', not informing anyone. Sometimes I throw shots at my ex girlfriend and her bum ass boyfriend. See! Smh. I can be a terrible person.

BUT.....

Despite all my imperfections there are those who still choose to love me, God being at the top of that list and my family and friends following Him. I am truly blessed and grateful beyond measure. Also, for the record, I'm not just good at stating my imperfections. I do work to better myself daily. I trust God has a light at the end of my tunnel, and while I'm traveling through that tunnel I believe all of the above mentioned imperfections will be released off of me, I will be become a better person, I will reach success, never quite reaching PERFECTION but running after it with every bit of energy in my body. And although it'll be a fight, its the process that feels the best. This is what I am, and what I believe. Not quite what YOU thought HUH!?

Resurrection of the blog!

Happy Easter Everybody!

I know, I know.. I've been a complete mystery lately! My apologies to the people that actually enjoy reading my posts, sorry its been a while. A lot has been going on in my life this past month. I've been making transitions and I've had some really rough weeks. And I'll be honest, I just haven't felt like writing, until tonight! Some of the problems were situations involving myself, finding inspiration, needing time to strengthen my spirituality and just coping with uneasiness in my transition but I realized along time ago, you just gotta thug it out sometimes; actually you gotta thug it out a lot of the time, matter of fact that should be my new motto, Thug or Die! Lol, ok I'm just being silly cause its late. But seriously, you just have to run towards pain, battle fear and say wassup to hard times, you can't run away from them though. And that's exactly what I'm doing now, because things definitely aren't great, but I still smile knowing my strength come from the Lord above. So with that said, I'm baaaaacccccckkkkkkkkk! Lol

You can fill the BLANK in...

My homie just emailed me this.. They're usually lame but I'm bored so Ima go in..


1. My ex... is FUNNY! reality tv funny lol (why did that have to be first haha)

2. Maybe I should... make a pb&j, I love those.

3. I love ... my CHURCH. It's definitely the dopest/realest church in alll thee land lol.

4. People would say that I am... dope, fun, inteligent. I also know others probably would have more negative things to say.

5. I don't understand... this world. I know thats a broad statement, but I dont. A lot of the things that happen in and around my world are verrryyy mystery to me.

6. When I wake up in the morning... I can't see anything for about 3 minutes, I think I need glasses lol.

7. I lost... the dopest FUBU jacket ever when I was in 5th grade..I was SICK for weeks!

8. Life is full of... mysteries and questions. Walk your path to figure them out.

9. My past... is my past. Don't judge me man!

10. I get annoyed when... I introduce someone to something new, and then later on they try to tell me about it, like I wasn't the one who told them about it! What is that about??? I don't even want credit, but just be REAL.

11. Parties are... cool, I guess.

12. I wish... everyone in the world could be in a relationship with the person that was put here for them without going through a million other people. Extreme? Yea, but oh well its my wish!

13. Dogs... are real! I miss my late pup PUMA, RIP homie! Ima get another one when I get my own spot this summer.

14. Cats... are very weak and sneaky. I'm cool!

15. Tomorrow... Let's not discuss tomorrow. I still have a lot more to do today. Plus tomorrow is not promised.

16. I have low tolerance... for people with ulterior motives. I usually can spot this person early on, but if not, once I find out, its a wrap. I think thats extremely selfish and I'm cool on that too.

17. If I had a million dollars.. I'd give 10% to God. Then I'd spread atleast 300k between my family and CLOSE friends (some people would be sick). The rest would be mine, and I would flip it over and over between business ventures and other ideas I have.

18. I'm totally terrified of... not reaching the promises that have been made for my life.

19. My spouse... will be my bestfriend, my heart, my soulmate. Can't wait until you stop playing and come find me (maybe its the other way around lol).. But anyways, We're gonna wreckshop together, on some Martin and Corretta, Will and Jada, Magic and Cookie type stuff lmao.

20. My life... is full of blessings, ups and downs. But I love it. I'm living a movie!

SO yeaa I actually enjoyed this.. Lol